Happy Game Week Hump Day, Cougs! If you’re like me,
you are completely worked into a lather at this point following the announcement that Nick Viall will be the leading man on the next season of “The Bachelor” and can’t wait to see if the fourth time is a charm on his quest to find love you are super stoked that we’re a mere three (3!) days away from football season and have been consuming as much preview content as humanly possible. I can only assume that by now you’ve read the Coug-a-Sutra’s spectacular post from Monday. I know I have! So inspired by his Ted Miller gimmick infringement am I that I’m going to keep the train rolling with even more questions as we countdown to kickoff. I dig this format because it’s like a conversation with myself, whom I love.
Question #1 (Well, technically 10, if you’re counting Sutra’s): Will Shalom Luani play Saturday?
There is obviously no way to know for sure, but my gut says yes. It’s been absurdly well documented that Mike Leach says a lot of wacky things and his way of addressing the status of specific players is intentionally vague, but I just don’t think he would go out of his way to bring up the “Luani was jumped” narrative if he thought the kid was in the wrong and would be facing a penalty of some sort.
Question #2: What’s with all the face punching anyway?
Between the party and the Domino’s incident, WSU students have been on the wrong end of acts of aggression by WSU football players. Regardless of context, that’s bad. We all know that college kids do dumb things and drunk people do dumb things, so it’s the risk of dumb is especially heightened when the two mix. That said, I’ve been a college kid and been drunk and been dumb plenty of times, but in all my 35 years I’ve never been particularly close to punching someone in the face or having someone take a swipe at my face-for-radio. Everyone involved has got to be smarter and I hate to hold the football players to a higher standard then the rest of the student body, but these guys have simply got to walk away or avoid these scenarios in the first place. They are going to be on the wrong side of #narrative in any of these scenarios because they’re big, bad, entitled football players. That’s just how it is. If you don’t believe me, check out anything Susana Senent has said about the fight in which her son was injured. Clearly, her precious snowflake was minding his business, probably studying, when those monsters from the football team attacked.
Question #3: Domino’s? Really?
Come on, Shalom. I understand late night food options are limited and drunk people will eat basically anything, but you can do better than Domino’s and shouldn’t get that mad because it’s taking a long time. It’s Domino’s, man.
Question #4: What will the Cougs be wearing Saturday?
At first, this seemed like a no-brainer that we’ll see the Grey-Crimson-Grey combo, but that was the outfit for opening day against the Viks last year, so if I’m Bill Moos, it’s an automatic stay-away. My guess is all crimson.
Question #5: We’re gonna beat Eastern, right?
Yes. Almost certainly…I’m pretty sure….probably. OK, full disclosure, I’m struggling with this whole going into the season with expectations that it will go well thing. As always, I’m waiting for things to collapse on themselves. I was chatting with my brother, Huddy the Elder, yesterday (not to be confused with my other brother, Huddy the Eldest) and we agreed the Pumped-O-Meter is firmly at a 9 for this season based on the ceiling for how it could go. Unfortunately, we also agreed that we’re Cougs and should be appropriately terrified just in case. I think it’s a real possibility that WSU could start 2-4 and we’ll all be mad online wondering where it all went wrong. Even in that worst case scenario, though, I don’t see any way the Cougs start out anything other than 1-0. It could be much less comfortable than we’d all like, but the Cougs are pulling out the W on Saturday.
Question #5: Yo, Huddy, what’s up with that 2-4 start thing? You really believe that?
I’m not predicting that will happen and I’d say it’s like 70/30 that it won’t, but the schedule scares me, that’s all. Boise State is tough and that Oregon-Stanford-UCLA trifecta is no joke. I imagine we’ll be an underdog in all three of those according to the Vegas people.
Question #6: So, what’s our record gonna be then?
I’ll leave the long term prognosticating to the guy with the crystal ball and harem. I’m getting out of that game. Ask me next week what I think our record will be after two games. It’ll be anywhere from 6-10 wins and some sort of bowl game, but literally nothing would surprise me.
Question #7: Alright, fine, you big scaredy cat. What players are you most excited to see on Saturday?
Aside from the obvious returnees (Messieurs Falk and Marks), the answer here seems fairly clear:
BOOBIE!!! For those who aren’t in the know, that’s running back James Williams, practice and scrimmage legend. Let’s hope he’s more Jerome Harrison practice and scrimmage legend than Andrei Lintz practice and scrimmage legend.
I’m also intrigued to see if Tavares Martin, Jr. has made some strides and is ready to fill Dom Williams’s shoes. I’ll try to keep an eye on the left side of the o-line, but I’ve been on the record about how my four eyes follow the ball and the skill positions. Same for the newly configured D-Line. I’m absolutely steamed up about the secondary, but in particular am eager to see Jalen Thompson and Robert Taylor for the first time.
Question #8? Is there really going to be beer for sale in the stadium?
I don’t know, but I’m going to be there to find out! That’s right, Pullman…here I come, baby! By the way, if anyone has a parking pass they don’t need, hit me up. That’s @huddlestron on Twitter.
Question #9? Oh nice! Are you gonna go to Sella’s or Cougar Country Drive-In?
Question #10? What’s the score gonna be on Saturday…this Saturday, Cougar Football Saturday, three days from now?
WSU 45 – EWU 21