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Red Sox general manager

The other day I was sitting at home and the phone rings. I look down at the caller ID and see its my mom calling so I answer it figuring she’s got something to nag me about now. Turns out she called me because she thinks I would be a great candidate to replace Theo Epstein as general manager of the Boston Red Sox. She did make some valuable arguments as to why I could be GM. I am a lifelong die-hard member of Red Sox nation(I got the card to prove it). I do have my degree in Sports Management and I also have 10 years experience of working in minor league baseball. She told me I should write a letter to Larry Lucchino and tell him I want to be a candidate for the GM position. She goes just tell him that you will do whatever he wants that he can run the team and you will just be his puppet. She also said with my vast baseball knowledge I might actually get along with Bill James, the special consultant to the Red Sox, who is also a stat guy. Sorry mom but I am not that big of a nerd although some(and you know who you are) would disagree with that.

Can you imagine me as GM of the Red Sox negotiating Caveman’s contract or helping Francona make roster decisions?And the main question I would have, would I still be able to do fantasy baseball. Is that considered gambling? Would I be blackballed from baseball if I still did fantasy baseball? Would I win my league for once because I had inside information?

So when I apply for this position, should I make demands. Since half of my friends are Sox fans, do i ask for season tickets for them. Or do i ask for my own personal skybox to be built on the green monster since we enjoy the view from there. If I were to be Larry’s puppet what do I demand for salary and will I really have to talk to the media. Or can I just send them an email.

Given my circumstances right now, theres no reason why I can’t apply for the job. So this afternoon, I will update my resume and formally make my pitch to be the next general manager of the Boston Red Sox. It’s not like anyone else wants the position anyways.

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