Who Wants to See my Green Fuzzy Balls?

Who Wants to See my Green Fuzzy Balls?


Who Wants to See my Green Fuzzy Balls?


I missed my chance at a good Halloween costume this year. I had a fantastic idea though. It was cheap and easy, since I already had most of the materials. I was going to wear my old tennis uniform, add a headband and a blonde wig. Since I’ve put on a few pounds since those days, I would easily pass as “If John Daly played tennis”. The best part, of couse, is that if I got belligerently drunk, I could say I was in character! And to stay in character, I could just launch a tennis ball as far as I could. But alas, I stayed at home and sucked at poker. What else happened last week?

ITEM ONE: The worst thing to happen to baseball was the MVP for the Cardinals, who, in case you didn’t hear, won the World Series. David Eckstein, who is, of course, a scrappy talented player, was named the Most Valuable Player. Why? I understand he had a good series, but you take him out of the lineup and replace him with pretty much any other fleet short stop in the league and I’d bet the Cardinals do just as well against the Tigers, who, aside from Mudthumb, pitched like crap. Not to mention fielded and hit like crap. Of course, now that everyone who didn’t fall asleep during the Series will be clamoring for some skinny white kid who tries really hard to anchor their infield. Good thing the Twins aren’t in that boat. I mean, we already HAVE a skinny white kid anchoring the infield.

ITEM TWO: I think the Wild and Sabres are each running out of gas. I haven’t seen the Buffaslugs in person, but I know just from watching that the Wild have crapped out. You can’t help but thing that the 5 game homestand to start the season helped the squad save some energy, being able to sleep in their eds and not having to fly to Alberta. They are good enough to use that energy, but now that its gone, you get games like Sunday nights, where Minnesota was totally overmatched by the Avs. By the way, Mike Greenlay says that Antti Laaksonen does his best work from behind. Just sayin’.

ITEM THREE: I would rail on Purdue again for their abysmal showing at home against Penn State, however, Minnesota crapped their pants against Ohio State. Both teams are bad, At least we can look forward to the Hoosiers in the Motor City Bowl.

ITEM FOUR: At the affair that went on at my house, my aunt invaded the basement where I was hiding and watching Florida St. versus Maryland. After she first mentioned that she couldn’t understand why people could watch a whole game, she mentioned how much she thought that the guys who wore gold pants looked like Nancy-boys, something I’ve been bemoaning for years. Well, after that, the Seminoles lost, not to mention the Saints and 49ers did too on Sunday. Something to be said for the opinons of an aunt.

ITEM FIVE: I have come up with a plan. My journalistic skills lack one fundamental component. I don’t actually attend any events. So in order to rectify the situation, I have decided to make three annual trips to sporting events. I compiled a list of all the teams for sports I like (NFL, NHL, MLB, college basketball and college football) and randomly selected one team, and upon that teams selection, made a random choice of game during their schedule. I would pick two random teams and add a trip to the Twins game closest to my birthday (April 5th, buy me something nice), and without further ado, the games I will be attending (or trying to attend. Any volunteers) are : Valparaiso at Missouri-Kansas City on January 25th (CBB), St. Bonaventure at Temple on February 7th (CBB) and my Twins at the hated White Sox on April 6th. It should be loads of fun.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Halloween – Ryan

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