:tap: Is this thing on? Excellent! My evil plans to take over the world can now commence. Except I promised Ryan I wouldn’t do that…Alas.
ITEM ONE: Wild left wing Derek Boogaard will be here to kick around–er, to kick us around–for another three years (barring a trade). This makes me happy, because I like Boogaard. Bobbi was shocked to find my favorite Swarm player was the enforcer, too. I’m not big on fighting, but I’m glad to keep around a hockey player who will fight back (rather than instigate), if the need arises.
ITEM TWO: By sitting out of the game on Sunday, Barry Bonds has 753 career home runs. The Giants now return home for a seven-game homestand. Barry will probably get his history home run there, and we will have to hear about it every day for the rest of the year, as well as hear every single home run for the rest of the year. My belief is that he will retire at the end of the year. Or is that hope?
ITEM THREE: Jon Lester will return to the mound for the Red Sox today, according to reports. Lester has not played since August 23rd of last year, when he was diagnosed with a treatable form of lymphoma.
ITEM FOUR: A guy named Padraig Harrington won the British Open. I know nothing about golf, so the apparently dramatic finish is lost on me. Why does it look like the score is tied for a winner? There must be something in the golf rules that breaks the tie, but I’ve got nothing. Anything that involves a “double Bogey” sounds like it belongs in a children’s story. One of the few golfers that I know of, Tiger Woods, tied for twelfth.
ITEM FIVE: Twins fans can rejoice. We no longer have to depend on the mediocre bats of Justin Morneau, Joe Mauer, Torii Hunter, and Nick Punto: Rondell White has returned! We need have no fear, and there’s no reason for that Michael Cuddyer–who is currently broken and on the DL with a sore thumb–to hurry back. Rondell White has returned! As such, the great Garret Jones returns to Rochester. (And the Red Wings will be thrilled to get him back. He may not have done much for the Twins, but he’s one of the power threats for the Red Wings. In fact, I think you could say he’s The power threat for the Red Wings.)
And with that, I shall sign off with these inspiring words: Mikko Koivu!