Because Purdue likes to keep with their theme of gay trains, this weeks Anti-Preview is going in a different direction than the previous three. The non-gay direction.
Purdue. The Boilermakers come up to South Bend with a very deceptive 2-1 record. Why so deceptive? Well, I’m not sure how good or bad they really are. They blowout their 1-AA cupcake, they lose a tough game to yet another ranked opponent (Oregon) in overtime, and they escape against Central Michigan because of one juke. By all of those indications I would say that they look pretty good. However, Curtis Painter (QB) is not looking that great. Painter has only 3 TD passes and 3 INT’s and has been sacked 6 times. He has had help with Kory Sheets running the ball, but everytime Purdue gives ND trouble it is because the Boilers throw the ball around. Purdue may find it difficult to toss the pig around with ease this time as the Irish have developed their defense into a decent pass stopping unit. Joe Tiller is Wilford Brimley.
What should I be drinking? A boilermaker, right? Wrong fucko. We are the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and they are a school full of future vets and farmers. It’s all Irish this week and the drink is none other than the monster killer itself… an Irish Carbomb. The recipe is easy enough: 3/4 pint of Guinness, 3/4 shot of Jameson Whiskey, 1/4 shot of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Drop the bomb! Caution is advised while drinking these and I would also recommend an 11 bomb limit unless you plan on shitting yourself in front of your entire family. Another tip: If you are at a bar, order the pint of Guinness and the shot of Jamesons & Bailey’s together (less time). Sip your stout for a few minutes, then drop the shot- BOMBS AWAY!!! Make sure you wink and nod at the first girl you see. Works everytime.
What should I be eating? Forget corned beef and cabbage. The true Irish dish had bacon instead of corned beef because of the availability of pork to the common people. Instead, try a stew- Molly Malone Stew. And if you are in South Bend, go check out Fiddler’s Hearth Public House for traditional Irish dishes and music. You can get the stew there or you can try their Bangers and Mash. Or put plan “C” in effect and keep drowning in the car bombs.
What should I be wearing? The weather forecast is calling for a gorgeous sunny day in the Bend. So nice in fact, that kilts should be worn. Be a real man and step up to the challenge of setting your balls free from constriction. Be sure to accessorize with a cock knocker and solid footwear. A walking stick is optional. A shillelagh is not- have one for the ass whooping you want to unleash.
What freshman will make the biggest impact (besides Floyd) ? Robert Blanton. Blanton has an extreme amount of confidence that borders along cockiness. Exactly what you need as a cover corner. Blanton’s role as a freshman was increased after the departure of starter Darrin Walls. Blanton did not make an appearance against San Diego State, but he has been on the field during key passing downs since the first quarter of the Michigan game. The reports out of fall camp were that Robert was a skilled cover man and was capable of making big plays early in his career. I think he will against Purdue. They throw the ball enough to give the frosh all the chances he will need. The Irish need him, and I think he comes through.
What offensive player needs to step it up? Armando Allen. Since arriving in South Bend, Allen has been hailed as a game breaker and someone who could take it to the house anytime he touches the ball. This has been far from the truth during his first year and a quarter at Notre Dame. What I’ve noticed is that his vision is not as good as other backs in the country with the same or less speed. Sure, we can blame the offensive line as much as we want, but Allen has to make the right cuts on the plays designed for him. Example: During the first quarter against MSU, ND ran a stretch run to the left and Allen cut inside when if he took it outside it is likely he scores. That has been his biggest problem, he almost always cuts in instead of using his speed and bouncing out. MSU brought the house against ND, and everyone knows that to help slow the rush down you have to run screens and draws effectively. Allen is the guy who needs to be more like Darius Walker and run smarter, and then use his speed for the run to daylight.
What defensive player needs to step it up? Gary Gray. I would have said Terrail Lambert, but after the amount of times I have seen him get burned this year alone, the fifth year senior is more of a liability right now than a weapon. Gray has been touted by most insiders as the BEST cover corner on the team. (That was after the spring game and included Walls). McNeil is more than holding his own on his side, but ND needs two guys on the island to lockdown Boiler targets. We need Gray to play a bigger role and we should see one this week. I am very confident in our defensive backfield when we go to a nickel package, which we should see against Purdue. Mark it down… Gray with 2 picks.
Is there a rivalry trophy at stake? As a matter of fact, yes. (I wouldn’t have asked otherwise) Here is an excerpt from an old Subway Domer post on all of ND’s rivalry trophy games… the shillelagh theme we next look at the Purdue game. It is simply called The Shillelagh Trophy. It was donated by a merchant seaman and Fighting Irish fan, Joe McLaughlin. He purchased the blackthorn oak club while in Ireland. The winner of the game has received this trophy since the 1957 game. The winner has its initials put on a football medallion, along with the score, and that is placed on the oak stand the Shillelagh sit upon.
Who’s gonna win? The Fighting Irish played like dog shit against a tough opponent last week in Michigan State and they were only down 13-7 with 7 minutes, or so, left in the game. How did they lose? By turning the ball over twice in scoring range and once deep in their own territory, and missing two field goals. I think ND makes less mistakes this week, although I ‘m not sure about the FG unit, and really takes it to the Boilers at ND Stadium- Irish 38-20. A bold prediction no doubt, but one that can become reality if ND wins the turnover game and sticks to what it does best… spread it out and throw the god damn ball
(Irish Illustrated’s McStug)