Bursting the Free Agent Bubble

With the start of the Spring 2010 Player Release-kakke, we’ve seen such notable victims as LaDanian ToeInjury and Brian Westbrook hit the market in mild eyebrow raising fashion. Surprising? Not totally, but tough to see none the less. I like to this of these players being released as the fly falling behavior of the Summer of Celebrity Death in 2009, but, of course, with less white people. With LT and Westbrook on the market you’ll inevitably have bored bloggers (us?) start writing about how great one of these guys, or other restricted free agents and potential trade targets, would fit in with the Vikings. But let’s make this simple.

Bursting the Free Agent Bubble

The Vikings aren’t touching any of these players. So we can all stop talking about it.

First, LT isn’t going to come to the Vikings. With his steady decrease in production despite an up tick in quarterback play, what type of strengths could he bring to the Vikings, at a reasonable un-Favrian dollar amount, that Chester Taylor couldn’t provide on the cheap? And why would we waste our roster spot on him, or Brian Westbrook for that matter, where running back is the one area on the field that isn’t a TOTAL liability? You’re going to pay LT millions to prevent four Peterson fumbles a year? NO FUCKING WAY! LT isn’t coming to Minnesota, so let’s stop talking about it.

And for that matter neither is Brian Westbrook. Sure, him and Childress have a great background together having spent several years together in Philadelphia throwing the ball, but try not to forget, like Westbrook probably has, that he’s got like 37 concussions and 13 bruised ovaries EVERY season. Dual threat guys like Westbrook are a dime a dozen. Shit, draft Noel Divine next year and call it a day. Let’s not have the team waste dollars on Westbrook either. Conversation = deader than my state of arousal after hearing Katherine Heigl talk.

Bursting the Free Agent Bubble

Chances are then that we’ll also all hear stories of premier Raiders cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha as a potential trade target. And despite the Raiders organization being more vacant than a silicon breast, not even they are dumb enough to trade Nnamdi for anything more than a billion first round picks. And so the team would miss out on a first round pick where they could potentially draft a franchise quarterback or help a desperately fledgling offensive line so they can have a cornerback with an outrageous contract when the one’s we’ve had recently have been plenty serviceable, and cheaper, despite injury? Shit doesn’t make sense, and it makes me angry just talking about this. Case closed.

Case closed on McNabb too. With the Eagles already saying they would have to have a first round pick in any trade they would do for McNabb, the Viking organization simply isn’t zombie brained enough to give up those type of assets for a QB that can’t last a full fantasy season and who barfs his guts out in big games. Right, that sounds exactly like the leadership a young team like Minnesota needs. EEEEENNNNN. No. Stop talking about it.

Also off the list that I don’t want to hear anyone mentioning is Brandon Marshall in a trade, Julius Peppers, Aaron Kampman somehow, Glen Dorsey, Darren Sharper, or anyone overpriced and overrated like that. Rick FUCKING Spielman has already said with the gang banged salary cap that the team is focusing on resigning their own players. So that means we’ll get Chester, Benny Sapp, and Jimmy Kennedy. Hurray. Now let’s draft.

Moss though? Oh, we can fa sho speculate about him.

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