The ABC’s of the Cup

Dan Menezes talks football and futbol

A is for Argentina, which is probably the most polarizing team in the World Cup. They have the current best player, and considering the last best player was an in-the-closet metro that liked to be caught with hookers, and currently squires around with Paris Hilton, Messi is the closest thing to an era defining player since Zidane. However, the era-defining player that came along before Zizou, Maradona, is back to ruin Argentina. He be batshit insane, and is dead-set on screwing the World Cup up. Maradona doesn’t like anyone challenging his name as the premier of Argentinean Football, so he would definitely sabotage Messi’s chances at glory just so no one thinks Messi is better than himself. Also, the guy that Messi will be playing with for goals, Sergio Kun Aguero (Kun Aguero is what most call him), is Maradona’s son-in-law, so there is an approximately 87% chance Maradona demands the middies pass to the Kun over Messi. They could win the World Cup, they could get knocked out early. What we do know is that they will be fun to watch.