League Sends Minnesota a Message: You’re Not Important

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Judd Zulgad, the heady Vikings writer with the failing print media source the Star Tribune, had some choice words for the NFL after they canceled the Vikings and Eagles game scheduled for Sunday night, postponing it until Tuesday evening. Monday, stranded in Philadelphia, Zulgad had this to say:

“… the events that have unfolded in the past two days should not be repeated by the NFL. The league needs to realize it set a very unhealthy precedent when it  postponed Sunday night’s game between the Vikings and Eagles, and it needs to consider that it should have been far more upfront about why the game was shifted to Tuesday night instead of Monday. (Just say it was driven by the need to not have head-to-head games on Monday night for television purposes. People aren’t stupid.)”

Well, generally people are, but I digress …:

“In reality, the conditions for the Vikings-Bears game at TCF Bank Stadium last Monday night were just as bad or worse than what took place Sunday night in Philadelphia. Should that game have been postponed? Fans from Minnesota are just as important as fans from Philadelphia, right?”

JOKES ON YOU, ZULGAD. Fans from Philadelphia are more important than fans from Minnesota. I mean, if you’re options for the NFL are protecting “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” or “The Mary Tyler Moore Show”, I know which one I’m taking. But that’s not the only reason the NFL loves the Eagles and their fans more than the Vikings and their fans. The other reasons that the NFL was so quick to screw Minnesotans follows …

– The Eagles have never had Brett Favre on their team. That alone qualifies them for preferential treatment from the league.

– While purple is historically known as the color or royally, it is more modernly known as the color of clowns and occasionally men who frequent the Brass Rail. Green is the color of money, and bitches LOVE money. Eagles win.

– There are Vikings Cheerleaders and then there are the Eagles Cheerleaders. CHOOSE YOU DESTINY!

– While both teams have black quarterbacks, the Eagles’ goes by the name of Michael Vick (who is on the path of redemption co-sponsored by the NFL) and the Vikings have one that goes by the name of Joe Webb (who is on the path of being a quarterback instead of a receiver thanks to Brad Childress).

– Philadelphia has a famous historical landmark in the Liberty Bell. Minneapolis has a big spoon with a cherry on it. Uh, wat?

– Out of the Andy Reid coaching tree (which clearly includes Andy Reid and then Brad Childress only), the Vikings lose this match-up by default.

– Clearly, there is an east coast bias in all things sports as well, just in case you have forgotten.

Do you have your own reasons? I’m sure they are valid, so drop them in the comments. I am also not re-writing the entire game preview, so if you haven’t read it twice yet, make sure to go back and do so while you prepare for … Tuesday Night Football? Yeah, whatever. The only question remains is whether or not the Vikings will lose by 21 or 41. Enjoy!

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