USA Women’s Soccer Team Moves On to Semifinals After Beating Brazil at the Game They Invented

Before some English prick tries to take credit for claiming that their country actually invented soccer, I don’t care. Brazil is better than you and they don’t have annoying accents.

Anyway, I just missed one of the most awesome American sporting events ever (seriously, this > Donovan’s goal last year), so I’m a bit upset at myself. And you should watch this video before FIFA’s video nazis take it down.

Ian Darke: announcing god.

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