Live By Them Or Die Trying: Darren Rovell's 100 Twitter Rules

Live By Them Or Die Trying: Darren Rovell's 100 Twitter Rules

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Live By Them Or Die Trying: Darren Rovell's 100 Twitter Rules

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Darren Rovell, CNBC’s Sports Biz guy, passed the 100,000 follower mark on Twitter Wednesday and celebrated by bestowing upon his readers the 100 rules to live by on the social media platform. He cares a lot for those latter 50,000 followers because it’s roughly 770-percent more work than he put into celebrating the 50,000 follower mark back in January, and delves much deeper into the nuances of being a “successful” tweeter.

Assuming you are on Twitter, you will realize while reading through Rovell’s Twitter Rules that you’ve likely broken at least a few of them and unfollowed others for doing the same thing. That’s normal, I think.

However, if you’re reading through Rovell’s Twitter Rules and thinking after every other rule, “Really, I’m not allowed to do that??” then you should probably reconsider your life what it is you’re doing on Twitter. That’s not to say that you should be sentenced to a lifetime in Twitter Jail; Twitter can still be a valuable service to you, even if you’re not exactly returning the favor.

Rovell’s Twitter Rules are really just his own, not Gospel. Sure, following a lot of these rules will help you accumulate, retain, and entertain some followers, but they will also likely never help you to reach Rovell’s status of 100,000 followers (you would also need a high-profile job at some place like CNBC as a Sports Business Reporter).

HAVING SAID THAT, I’ve decided to waste time responding to each of Rovell’s Twitter Rules, infusing my own Twitter experiences, feelings, and utter sarcasm. I think it provides a little bit more of a realistic glimpse into Twitter for the average tweeter because, after all, we’re not as cool as Darren Rovell or Oprah, and I’d say the 2008 Lions have better odds of winning a game than most of us do at accumulating their kind of followings on Twitter.

 

1. Twitter is for everyone. A person in any profession can help his or her career if he or she utilizes it correctly.

Twitter is for anyone with an email address. If you don’t have an email address, it’s not for you and you should probably get an email address.

If you’re not my parents and you’re on Twitter, Twitter can be very useful in a number of ways. Sure, it can help one’s career — it definitely helps Sports Biz guy’s career — but it can also be used (exclusively, even) for so much more than that. For example, I feel like it’d be just fine if someone decided to use Twitter solely as an RSS feed for everything Kate Upton.

2. Only follow your friends if they have something you want to hear. Facebook is for friendships.

What kind of friend doesn’t want to hear what another friend has to say? If your friend is on Twitter, don’t be a dick, follow him/her. Otherwise, you’re probably not friends.

By the way, Facebook is for friendships that are sometimes not real. I’m actually “friends” with the Sports Biz guy himself on Facebook, but we definitely do not share a “friendship,” and if we do, I expect an apology from him soon for not writing on my wall on my birthday.

3. For the rest of eternity, no one is going to believe you if you said you were hacked, even if you were. Sorry.

If you really were, you can prove it. Not your dick shot? Prove it by sending one of yours. Wait, you’re not really a racist, homophobe? Start hanging out regularly with homos of the opposite race and I’ll believe you (but you don’t have to get naked with him). Bonus Rule: You can prevent being hacked if you change your password to something a little more cryptic than password123.

4. Please don’t link your Foursquare and Twitter accounts. Your Twitter followers signed up for your Twitter content, not the fact that you just became the mayor of Starbucks.

Foursquare can be a valuable marketing tool that influences your followers. If you can add something interesting before the (@ Starbucks) part, which automatically appears in the tweet, I think it’s more than okay to relay that to your followers. Twitter followers signed up for your Twitter content, which can include interesting comments about where you are.

Also, Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 4 somewhat contradicts Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 68. You’ll see this a lot henceforth.

5. Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither was your Twitter account. Developing a strong following takes time and effort.

Developing a strong following does take time and effort, unless you’re famous or you have cash to blow. Also, like Rome, that strong following can burn in a matter of hours if you keep live-tweeting your meals.

6. Always credit your source if you find content worth sharing. Think like a journalist when you’re passing along quality info.

Woody Paige agrees with Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 6.

7. Don’t ask to be followed. Twitter is a meritocracy. Earn it.

Agreed. Actually, Rovell could’ve added, “Don’t think like a journalist,” here. I’ve mostly seen this from athletes and mainstream media personalities begging their followers for help to get them over a certain number of followers. It’s counterintuitive because you’re really asking current followers to unfollow. Earn it, or — again — be famous or open up your wallet.

8. Don’t tweet out inspirational quotes unless that’s the purpose of your account. By now everyone has heard “Carpe Diem, seize the day.” -Horace

Don’t tweet the same damn Horace or Theodore Roosevelt quote every morning, but there have been a few times I was actually pleased to read a somewhat original inspirational quote posted by someone I follow. They don’t have to be tabooed completely, just don’t overdo it.*

*Coach Taylor (Kyle Chandler) quotes, of course, can not be tweeted enough.

9. Don’t tweet that you are bored. Now I am too.

This is my favorite Rovell Twitter Rule, which is ironic, because it’s such a needless rule. If you ever actually consider tweeting, “I’m bored,” you should drown with the Fail Whale. Note: if you’re ever drowning, make sure you put that shit on twitcam — that’s definitely not boring.

10. If you follow someone, don’t be offended if they don’t follow you back. Not everyone plays for “Team Followback.” Earn their follow from strong, periodic @replies if you feel that you have something to offer.

I’m more of a Team Edward guy myself. Seriously, I think it’s okay to be offended if you follow a relative, co-worker, friend, or significant other and they don’t follow back — I hope you’re reading this Uncle Steve.

And, for what it’s worth, strong, periodic @ replies will not earn a follow back from celebrities or self-indulgent bloggers/writers. However, it does in fact work with most normal people.

11. Don’t be tempted by the speed of Twitter. Take a breath before each tweet and ask, “If I was a follower, would I want to read this?” If not, delete it.

The speed of Twitter would be a lot slower if everyone adhered to these rules, amirite? Stopping yourself to ask, “If I was a follower, would I want to read this?” is a lot easier said than done, especially on a real-time medium full of unabashed narcissists. There’s not much time to take a breath before each tweet to ask yourself that question if you just have to get your opinion out there! Yeah, I’ll admit it, I didn’t really take a breath before this comment and ask myself if it sucks — I have a lot of Rovell Twitter Rules to get through.

12. Unless you are a pro athlete, don’t tell me that you are at the gym. I get it, you work out.

Woah, woah, woah. You don’t get it unless I tell you, okay? I have to feel good about being at the gym, man. How else will it be worth the trip?

But, seriously, why should it matter if it’s a pro athlete or not? I surely don’t need to hear when a pro athlete is at the gym, unless they supplement it with a cool story or his entire squat regime. They’re pro athletes and they work out a lot, I get THAT. I guess, maybe, it’s helpful to the fans’ psyche for an athlete to let them know he’s working hard between games. But, if he starts tweeting on a regular basis that he’s at the gym and then randomly stops updating that aspect of his life, are fans then allowed to assume he has stopped lifting weights entirely? It goes both ways, so it’s probably just best to take a deep breath before sending out any “at the gym” tweets, CV31.

13. Proofread your tweets. The amount of typos in 140 characters is mind blowing.

Mind your P’s, Q’s, and spelling YOU with just a U. BTW, did you know that RHK means “round house kick”? Oh, BTW means “by the way,” and if you didn’t know that, you’re an idiot. Here, memorize this. Remember talking about keeping up with the speed of Twitter, Darren? This is where all the mind blowing begins.

Side note: Did you know Twitter’s TweetShrink tool will make the typos for you? It’s true, you can have one of the most eloquent, typo-free tweets in Twitter history all ready for deployment, but if it’s just over 140 characters, TweetShrink will intentionally piss off people like Darren Rovell (that is, if they follow you).

14. Find your Twitter niche, but don’t be afraid to branch out a little. Most followers enjoy a little variety every now and then.

In other words, force followers to pigeonhole you, so when you start tweeting pictures of food, you have to waste a tweet or two explaining yourself and possibly lose followers.

All followers enjoy entertaining tweets.

15. Quantity of tweets is fine as long as it’s quality. I average more than 40 tweets a day.

Roughly 27 of Rovell’s 40 tweets a day are in fact quality, so he’s not bold-face lying when he toots his own horn here.

16. Unless you are 14 years old, don’t make your account private. No strangers will want to request to follow you.

My niece is very much looking forward to her 15th birthday when she can finally publicize her Twitter account again.

I guessssssss I am a little more reluctant to follow private accounts, but private accounts have their lure, too. Hmmm, what kind of tweets does this person with the interesting avatar and bio have behind this wall? Also, he may actually be forced to notice me!

17. Do not use a default Twitter background. Instead, use an image or photo that complements your interests or personality.

Overrated. This should’ve been Rule 1,036 or something.

18. Follow Friday’s are perhaps the emptiest tweets on all of Twitter, unless you tell me why they deserve my follow.

When I see #FF on my timeline I read “I am bored.” It was not always like this, and some people still take the #FF seriously, but the bad apples have allowed it to evolve into unwelcomed timeline fluff. If you’ve included me in a #FF list, I’m still appreciative of that and feel really cool.

19. Want to give your recommendation more oomph? Do it on Tuesday; nobody is expecting it.

Just don’t do it in the middle of a Tuesday, that time slot is saved for starting unconfirmed rumors.

20. Just because you are getting slammed doesn’t mean you should blame Twitter. Learn to absorb the hate and get a thicker skin, it’s useful in life.

People actually blame Twitter when they’re getting slammed? (also see Rovell Twitter Rule No. 74).

21. If you’re RTing (retweeting) someone with comment, it’s OK to shorten up their original tweet in order to keep it under 140. Just don’t alter the original person’s intended message.

Please avoid mind blowing typos!

22. Don’t harbor on the fact that you lost one follower. Rejoice in the fact that you gained two.

However, if you don’t have two new followers to rejoice about, who.unfollowed.me is a great site to obsess over who unfollows you. You can also call them out on it! But don’t do that.

23. Athletes & celebs blame Twitter when “sharing” goes wrong. It’s not the sharing of information that’s the issue, it’s what you share.

I thought they blame the hackers? Seriously, people actually blame Twitter?

24. Never ask for a RT (Retweet) for your birthday (or for any reason).

Please retweet this rule.

25. Never fulfill a birthday RT request.

You’re such an asshole, Matthew Stafford.

26. Your avatar should intrigue/humor viewers. Change it up. But whatever you do, no animated GIFs! (Graphics Interchange Format)

27. Make good use of your Twitter bio space. “Mother, Sister, Daughter, Lover of Life” does absolutely nothing to spark someone’s interest.

Yeah, no one’s interest is ever sparked by a stupid family woman who loves life. Throw in that you were Time’s 2006 Person of the Year or that you won an Emmy and you should be golden.

28. Don’t get offended if someone unfollows you. Instead, use it as a learning experience. Perhaps your tweets need some tweaking. Everyone is entitled to a trial run before purchasing your product.

Unless it’s a relative, co-worker, friend, or significant other.

29. People love screengrabs. Those that are experts at capturing the perfect TV shot (like @bubbaprog and @jose3030) do well on Twitter.

Screengrabs of boobs, in particular.

30. Know when something has reached a critical mass. Look around to see if your entire timeline has tweeted the same quote. Hold back.

“Carpe Diem, seize the day” has definitely reached critical mass. (Serious face: Critical mass happens during every major sporting event and it doesn’t stop people from tweeting about the SAME. DAMN. THING.)

31. Know why people follow you. If you’re a foodie, don’t send 20 Florida Marlins tweets on a single night.

See Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 14. 20 Marlins tweets in a week from anyone other than a Marlins beat writer/blogger is probably too much to handle, let alone in a single night. /unfollowed

32. Instead of complaining about spam bots offering you free iPads, take 3 seconds and report them as spam. Help solve the problem.

YES. Everyone gets spam, you’re not getting singled out by spam bots like you were in dodgeball games growing up. Report it and shut up. Unless you can make a good joke about it – then we can talk about it.

33. Check out your followers. If someone’s bio looks interesting, follow them.

When you’re a normal person and you get emails when you receive a new follower, you’re welcome to check out their bio/timeline right then and there, too. … “Mother. Sister. Daughter. Lover of life”? Ew, pass.

34. Go through who you’re following every few months. Weed out the bad, the non-existent & those you feel don’t suit your interests.

I prefer to impulsively weed out on the fly because that’s when you know best if that person suits your interests.

35. If you get retweeted, don’t automatically expect new followers. People evaluate your feed before following, so it’s not an automatic process.

But feel free to call your grandma and tell her the news.

36. Twitter Search may be the most valuable search engine on the Internet. Use it.

At your own risk. Otherwise, you’ll believe a lot of healthy celebrities are dead.

37. Always put your comment before the RT. Commenting after the original tweet makes it difficult to distinguish your comment from the original.

Pet peeve No. 2 for me is the RT with a comment deliberately placed after the original tweet. Twitter for iPhone and Twitter for Mac encourages the quote tweet/comment after method, so it’s a little unreasonable for me to get really bent out of shape over those users, but the people who I know are doing it just to be different are prodding followers like me to click unfollow.

38. Twitter is the ultimate on-the-go tool. Find an app you can tweet most comfortably with & learn the heck out of it.

Keep up with the speed up Twitter (see Rovell Twitter Rule No. 11).

39. Don’t tweet and drive. Unless you are very good at it.

This is a great rule to live by. Just remember to attach your seat belt, not your Foursquare account.

40. Twitter isn’t a Monday to Friday site. It flows straight through the weekend.

Rebecca Black or Lover Boy tweets on Fridays are a good way to let people know that the weekend is approaching.

41. Don’t ask your followers what’s going on with a certain topic. Follow the right people & use Twitter’s search box.

Actually, assuming you have smart followers, it’s a really good way to incite interaction and can save you the trouble if you’re using Twitter as “the ultimate on-the-go tool.”

42. Double-check your links to make sure they work prior to tweeting. If you do happen to screw up a tweet, don’t follow up with a “Whoops, here’s the correct link” tweet. Just remove the old and tweet the new.

This only works if you catch the mistake and delete the wrong link immediately. If not, this encourages duplicate tweets to show up on people’s timelines, which is irritating. A simple “whoops, sorry for the wrong link. Here’s the right one,” can go a long way in proving you’re human and, shit, you actually care about possibly pissing off your followers with unexplained duplicate tweets, one of which possesses a wrong link.

43. Have a friend who bashes the fact that you’re on Twitter? Log them in for a week & show them how it works. In no other walk of life have people bashed something so fervently that they haven’t tried.

Nope and you probably shouldn’t bash friends who aren’t on Twitter.

44. Friend didn’t adhere to Tip 43? People who don’t use Twitter don’t get it. They’ll mock you, but it’s their loss. Keep doing your thing.

No. But I agree, thanks Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 44 for the emotional fist bump.

45. Want to partake in a funny movie-related trending topic? Tweet one, not ten.

Sometimes. Personally, I’m fine with two or three if they’re funny and haven’t been done yet, but any more I think calls for a reasonable use of “report as spam.” Also, click the trending topic to make sure your idea hasn’t been done … Rovell Twitter Rule No. 36 implies as much.

46. Good follow partaking in #AnnoyingHashtag? Some Twitter apps have a temporary “Hide” or “Mute” feature. (Your secret is safe with me.)

Twitter pet peeve no. 3 for me: people talking in hash tags. #youreaskingforanunfollow #seewhatididthere? Guhhhh.

47. Often referred to as a “Master Tweet,” never, ever RT yourself.

Humble brags are much more subtle.

48. When sharing a link, try to add a little flavor to it. Your followers want content from a person, not a robot.

But if you accidentally share the wrong link, Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 42 suggests it’s okay to temporarily act like a robot.

49. Ask your followers for good accounts to follow. Twitter can suggest everyone they want to, but the best follows will come from your followers.

Do not confuse this with Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 41, which states to never ask your followers for information about a certain topic because you should instead be using the search box and already be following the right people. Plus, asking your followers for good accounts to follow is asking followers to suggest themselves and that’s annoying — I would never follow someone with less followers than people they’re following.

50. Create lists to sort your interests. It will come in handy when you want a specific group’s most recent tweets.

TweetDeck!

51. Don’t announce when you’ve unfollowed someone. Egos run rampant enough on Twitter, so just quietly unfollow and move on.

If an ego is running rampant, you can’t go quietly.

52. Don’t obsess about missing something in your timeline. Obsess about furthering the dialogue.

And obsess over followers, without begging your followers for more of them.

53. See a tweet with content that you’d like to check out later? Many Twitter apps have an “E-mail Tweet” option. Maximize efficiency by using your inbox as your personal “to-do” list. Also, “Favorite” a tweet for later.

You could just remember who tweeted something interesting and check their timeline later. I’m not going to “Favorite” a tweet unless it’s actually my favorite, and I don’t think I’ve ever used that function.

54. Avoid using underscores and long, jumbled number sequences in your Twitter handle. People should be able to recite your handle from memory.

Twitter pet peeve no. 4 for me. It’s really frustrating when I decide to check out a timeline and, after I type in the Twitter handle, I get a does not exist page or someone else’s page talking about art and boring shit, all because I forgot a freaking underscore. Did you know Bam Margera from Jackass has two underscores in his handle? I do now, a year later.

55. Don’t RT something with comment that is better suited for an @reply or DM. Wasting your followers’ time is a no-no.

Another Twitter pet peeve of mine. Conversations are meant to be had @[email protected], not in RT fashion. I especially don’t care that you’re trying to get the attention of or actually having a conversation with someone way out of your league.

56. Stop tweeting how much your Twitter account is valued at. The only thing your account is worth at that point is an unfollow.

And whatever it says on Klout.com.

57. Don’t tweet about something amazing you just saw without including a pic. That’s the ultimate Twitter tease right there.

Screengrabs, people. (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 29)

58. People don’t care what you’re doing, they care what you’re seeing.

Unless you’re flexing in front of the mirror (also see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 12).

59. If you are going to tweet a long quote, use Twitlonger. Don’t continue a quote through three tweets. It becomes very fragmented since most people are following a lot of people.

Also, avoid tweeting long anythings using Twitlonger. Twitter restricts you to 140 characters for a reason (also see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 60).

60. Short tweets stand out. Try saying something poignant in 50 characters. It has a great chance of getting RT’d.

Disclaimer: Saying something poingnant in 50 characters or less does not have a great chance of getting RT’d if you don’t have any followers.

61. If you’re a journalist, take it easy on the pre-promotion. Reading that you are going to be on in Grand Rapids is annoying. Now if you say something good after you’re done in Grand Rapids, tweet it out.

Think like a journalist (see Rovell’s Twitter Rules No. 6 and 7). I think it can be useful for a journalist to tweet that something major is about to go live on his/her site, but I do care very little about pre-promotions, like, “I’m going to be on ____ radio show in 5 minutes.” Take Rob Neyer, for example. Great person to follow, but I feel like he’s going on obscure radio show after obscure radio show every other day and he tweets about it every single time. Really? 10 radio shows today, Bobby, and I need to know about every single one of them? Why not just link them (or, you know, one) later in the day?

62. Don’t go too long without checking your @mentions. Twitter isn’t a one-way street and you should take in valuable feedback.

I check my mentions when Twitter tells me I have mentions.

63. Just because this isn’t face-to-face communication doesn’t mean you should disrespect people. There are real humans behind the computers.

I mean no disrespect, but I’m unfollowing your ass because you’re primitive tweets are boring me.

64. Only change your Twitter handle if you’re absolutely convinced that it will be a smart move in the long haul (i.e., fewer characters, easier to remember, etc.). Your handle becomes your identity. Change your background/avatar/bio if you’re looking to switch things up.

A smart move would include getting rid of underscores.

65. Don’t give your followers a play-by-play or box score of a sporting event. If they are interested, they are watching.

Some Twitter accounts are very successful for providing play-by-play to followers who CAN’T watch the game. They’re interested, but they are “on-the-go” (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 38) and, thus, are not watching. Screengrabs are cool, too (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 29 and No. 57).

66. Go easy on the Instagrams. Yes, your iPhone takes pretty good pics and there’s an app to age them. It doesn’t make you a professional photographer.

If you create an amazing pic, though, make sure you share it — you don’t want to be a Twitter tease (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 57).

67. Show your gratitude when a company goes above and beyond for you. If you are impressed, let your followers know.

Unless you’re planning to do it through Foursquare (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 4).

68. When mentioning a person or brand, use their Twitter handle if they use the service.

Use the Twitter search feature to find their Twitter handles (see Rovell’s Twitter Rules No. 36 and 41).

69. Unless replying to a specific Tweet, don’t start your entry with an @mention because only those who follow that person / brand will see it (unless that is your intention).

See Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 55.

70. If including a photo with your message, make sure it is crisp and represents the subject matter correctly.

See Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 66.

71. All photos should have the correct orientation, don’t make someone rotate their head when you could take the time to rotate the photo.

Don’t overdo it on the sideways videos, either.

72. If you have 200,000 followers and you follow no one, you aren’t getting the full Twitter experience. Twitter isn’t a megaphone, it’s a telephone.

If you have 200,000 followers and you follow no one, you’re the Dalai Lama, so you’re doing just fine.

73. Don’t always use Twitter’s “Retweet” button. If you find something worth retweeting, use “RT” & get the credit you deserve for finding it.

Not a fan of the Twitter RT because they don’t always show up in the @ mentions or in lists. I prefer to use it only when I’m tweeting something interesting, but not that significant, and something I don’t have anything to add to. Try to avoid RT’ing something everyone else in your timeline is RT’ing (also see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 30).

74. Get hate-tweets? It probably means you’re doing something right. Chances are the hater has less than 200 followers anyway.

No, but it could also mean you’re legitimately doing something wrong and, because you have 100,000 followers and the person “hating” is just some cipher with a measly 157 followers, you’re just too stubborn to admit it. Just don’t go blaming Twitter, okay? (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 20).

75. Following athletes/celebrities is usually pointless. Twitter is about good tweets; not hearing an NBA star say, “What’s good, fellas?!” Make a list if you want to follow them, but don’t invite them into your timeline.

“What’s good, fellas?!” from an athlete / celebrity can absolutely count as a good tweet; they’re trying to engage with their followers and, if you’re living by Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 52, you’re going to obsess over that solely for furthering the dialogue. So Rovell’s Twitter Rules suggest it’s okay for an athlete to tell me they’re “at the gym,” but it’s not okay for them to engage their followers? (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 12 and 62).

76. Run a company? Don’t have your employees sign the tweets with their personal signature. Followers don’t care & you’re just wasting characters. Unless it’s “BO” on the White House feed.

Ehhhh, I guess ending a tweet with your initials could be useful if you run a business account with another person and you have differing view points on certain things. It could minimize follower confusion as to who said what, but yeah. -Larry

77. Have a good tweet at 3:17AM? If you’re not the first to tweet the Vancouver riot kissing couple, hold on to it. Chances are you’ll get more eyeballs at 10:00AM.

It’ll also give you a chance to take a breath and really determine if your followers would want to read it, especially since formulating tweets at 3:17 AM is probably not the best idea (also see Rovell’s Twitter Rule 79 on ways to schedule that 3:17 AM tweet for later).

(PS, Darren – that wasn’t really the Vancouver riot kissing couple at the Emmy’s. It was Paul Scheer from ‘The League’ and some actress I’m not familiar with).

78. Use a real location in your bio, not a state of mind or something pretentious like “On the move.”

Useful for people who are looking for other tweeters in their area, but otherwise people really don’t care.

79. Have 3 good tweets to send out that aren’t time sensitive? Schedule them at different times (you can use platforms like Tap 11) so each one gets the proper attention.

10 a.m., three days in a row (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 77).

80. Network! Twitter allows you to connect with just about anyone. Reach out… You’d be surprised how quickly you can hit it off.

Anyone that’s willing to not act like they’re too good to respond to followers.

81. Don’t plainly RT someone; add your touch to the tweet – even if it’s just a word or two.

Unless your touch consists of simply saying things like “this”, “love”, or “yeah” (also see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 73).

82. Choosing a new Twitter name? Again, keep it short. Do the talking in your bio (i.e. @JoeSmithWCQR should be @JoeSmith).

And leave out the underscores (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 54).

83. When someone visits your account, your tweets are your resume. Fill it up with @mentions and you’re missing out on potential new followers.

Only obssess about furthering dialogue when you know nobody will be looking at your resume Twitter timeline.

84. Stop forming your tweets as hypothetical letters to inanimate objects. “Dear Sun: I am very hot today. Shine away. Sincerely, Me.” This was creative about a year ago.

Forming your tweets as hypothetical memos is what’s in these days.

85. If you have a critical mass of followers, use amount of retweets and mentions on certain topics to gauge what’s generally hot and what’s generally not.

See Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 30.

86. Keep the smiley faces & CAPS to a bare minimum. I’m sure you’re happy, but you’re not that HAPPY.

ALL CAPS IS OKAY, IF IT DEALS WITH YOUR NICHE.

87. Funny tweets speak for themselves. There’s no need to add “lol” in a retweet.

I guess add “lol” to Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 81.

88. Stay away from song lyrics, even if it describes your mood perfectly.

Yeah, you probably Google’d those lyrics, anyway.

89. Don’t overdo it with the #hashtags. A few key words is fine, but the run-on sentence hash tag has been done.

See Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 46.

90. If any athlete/celebrity ever says anything good, it will be retweeted quickly.

Unless you got tricked into believing Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 75.

91. Don’t be afraid to follow, and tweet out, strangers. There are smart people outside of your circle of friends.

They might even respond.

92. Never RT a list of Follow Friday’s that someone included you in. If you’re really that excited about it, mark it as a Favorite and spare your followers.

What is the point of relaying to your followers a message that suggests people should follow you? I know you’re following me already, but here’s some validation for that — @DoubleLameMcDouche recommended that you should follow me.

93. If you’re with a group of people who also happen to have Twitter, refrain from going on a tweet-tagging spree. Instead, take a picture and tag your friends on Facebook.

I’m not sure I know exactly what tweet-tagging means, but I imagine it deals with meanginglessly telling your followers that you’re currently hanging out with @soandso and he just ate one of @runnynose’s boogers. Yeah, take a picture and instagram it to Facebook. Just make sure the orientation is right.

94. If you’re using Twitter primarily via text, you’re selling yourself short. Depending on your notifications setup, you’ll be either bombarded or behind. Also, good luck fixing errant tweets. It’s time to invest in a smart-phone.

And learn the heck out of it (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 38).

95. If you experience Twitter writer’s block, just take a break. You don’t have a daily quota to meet, so there’s no need to force it. Your followers will be pleased with consistent, quality content.

Your followers will be pleased with consistent, quality content, but don’t worry if the content isn’t consistent.

96. Get people who surround you on a daily basis on Twitter. Believe me, it’s a marriage tip too.

As fun as it might sound, don’t tweet-tag your wife (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 93).

97. Don’t tweet during important life occasions. Savor the moment; Twitter will be there for you when it’s all done.

Remember to include a pic if it was amazing and you plan on talking about it later (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 57).

98. Klout Score > Follower Count. Check out Klout.com and see where you rank.

Just don’t tweet your rank (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 56).

99. I don’t care how ugly you think you are, set an avatar. Nobody wants to follow a colored egg. It only means your future on Twitter is “cooked.”

I don’t know about you, but I follow people for the content (see Rovell’s Twitter Rule No. 4).

100. Spend time with people you know in real life because who are you going to talk to when Twitter gets over capacity?

You mean, when Twitter gets over capacity I’m not supposed to login to Facebook and leave a status like “Twitter is down, so I guess I’m here” ???

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