Ladies, Make Your Fantasy Football Team More Than Just a Dream

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So ladies, you want to be in your neighborhood, friendly fantasy football league? There are some things to consider before accepting the invite, and then attending the draft.

In some instances, women have the unfortunate circumstances of their knowledge being discounted right off the bat. If they think you don’t know what you are doing, you are viewed as a layup. Some guys will even take it as far as giving bad draft advice. It happens ladies; you need to be prepared.

Now before I go spouting off advice you’re probably asking yourself “who the hell is she?” and “why should I listen to her?” Well here’s why: I have been doing fantasy football since 2008. In that time, I have only not made the playoffs twice, but made it to four championships, and have won two.

I’ve played in PPR leagues, two quarterback leagues, and leagues with psychotic bonuses. I’ve traversed all formats with finesse, and it’s worth noting that the puns I employ in my team names are second to none. Trust me yet? Okay, good.

Good thing is there is hope for all of you ladies. You too can dominate your fantasy league and silence your haters. Because let’s face it dolls, men never want a girl to take them down in fantasy football. And guys like that, well they can kiss my rings.

First things first, when invited to a league, ask what the format is. Find out how many points you get for what, how many of each position is on the roster, and if there are any bonuses. This information is vital for showing up at the draft with a strategy.

Your draft strategy will give you the momentum that you will carry through the first half of the season. It’s essential to have a successful draft, especially if this is your first one. You want to invoke the “oh crap, what did we do?” reaction and not the “see, I told you she was easy money,” one. The former puts the opposition on their heels, especially if you are brand new.

Intimidation should be your main goal in the few minutes before the draft starts. Make lists, one for each position. There is no way to get around not doing your research. If this is something that you don’t want to put the time in, then maybe you should back out now before you lose anything. It’s fun for them; some of them start planning their fantasy strategy right after the draft. Show up like you came to play and get respected like you showed up to play. It’s as simple as that.

While there is much debate as to which position is best to go with in using your first pick, I prescribe to the running back first round school of thought. But you can’t just go taking any running back.

DeMarco Murray had a spectacular year last year, and the Eagles fan in you might make you want to grab him first. Don’t do it! This year, Murray will be splitting his carries with Ryan Mathews and Darren Sproles. While he would be a great addition if he was around in the middle rounds (which he won’t be), sharing production makes his fantasy value unstable from week to week.

If you go running back round one, he has to be the guy who you know will get you at least 20-25 points a week. If you can’t get that kind of production from your RB1, then you just become a point in the argument to take a quarterback first.

However, if you decide to go quarterback first round, it has to be the likes of Andrew Luck, who throws up 50+ points almost every week. If your league also has a bonus for each play done outside of their job description, like if a quarterback has a rushing touchdown or a running back has a reception for a touchdown you get double the points, a Russell Wilson would be good addition here.

I normally wait until the third round to grab my quarterback considering the depth at the position. That way I have a chance to get a crack at the elite running backs and wide receivers. I’m still waiting for the day I can draft J.J. Watt as a wide receiver.

After you get through the first three rounds, from then on it’s best available. Don’t sleep on your tight end though, a solid tight end can give you an extra receiver boost, and a mediocre one can be just a space saver.

Make sure you don’t sleep on a defense either. Otherwise you’ll could face negative points at some point during the season. Make sure you get your backup quarterback before it’s too late. You can sit on a kicker until late, that way you can use the remaining rounds to gobble up all of the leftover wide receivers and running backs.

Don’t underestimate the scraps; they can come in handy for trade packages and in case of injury.

Once you get through the draft, the difficult part starts: managing the team. Anyone can draft a bunch of superstars, but management is key. At least three players will go down with an injury on your roster at some point in the season. If you’re lucky, it won’t all be at the same time, or they won’t be season ending.

Any trades you make need to be analyzed with a fine tooth comb. If you’re not sure what you’re doing, your best player could be snatched for a collection of stiffs while under the guise of a favor to you. Remember, they want to win as much as you do and like everything else in life, weaker opponents are weeded out. Don’t be the weaker opponent.

Lastly, use your waiver wire power wisely. Don’t make an enemy week two because you’re first up that could return the favor on the brink of the playoffs. Just try to exercise good judgment.

That’s about it, I guess. If you’re still reading (which of course you are), I hope the information I gave you is helpful in being a successful fantasy football force. Now go out and earn some respect, ladies!

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