If you were scrolling through Twitter last night or this morning, amid the dozens of tweets about WWE Raw that appeared, despite you following zero wrestling accounts, there were multiple options for you to watch Grizzlies’ head coach David Fizdale outwardly express his internal screaming over the free throw disparity in Monday night’s loss to the Spurs. Fizdale did not care for the fact that the officials awarded San Antonio 17 more free throws than Memphis, even though the Grizzlies attempted 17 more shots in the lane than the Spurs did.
The only regrettable action here is that after Fizdale yelled, “Take that for data” and slammed his hand on the table, he did not pull out his checkbook and narrate himself writing a check for the impending fine.
“April 17, 2017. Pay to the order of ‘The National Basketball Association and its turd officiating. $32,000, that’s one thousand for each Spurs free throw.
“Thirty-two thousand and zero-zero slash one hundred dollars.
“For rookin’ us. Signed, David Fizdale.”
Then tear the check out, slam it on the table, and yell, “And take that to the NBA because I ain’t wasting postage on them! Forever Stamps are expensive as hell!”
Now that this scenario has played out in my head, I’m really upset it didn’t go down like that. BIG HOPES FOR YOU, GAME THREE.
However, as expected, “Take that for data” has become a thing today, so much so that the Grizzlies organization made t-shirts commemorating Fizdale’s words.
So now that it’s officially a thing, let’s keep that momentum rolling and see what happens when “take that data” shows up in history’s greatest speeches.
Get Us One
“Hey, uh, I just wanna say thank y’all for getting involved in the mascot. Uh, ‘preciate the committee. The work, the time that you’ve put in. I think it’d be real beneficial to us to have a mascot. TAKE THAT FOR DATA. And um, I ‘preciate your work. And uh, get us one.”
WE SHALL STORM THE BEACHES OF SARDIS FOR THAT MASCOT.
“They got some turnovers today, boy. They got three, four turnovers. It’s great for the defense, not good for the offense.”
“Was it fumbles or interceptions?”
“Who was throwing the interceptions?”
“I don’t want you to know that.”
(laughter of a millionaire who knows he’s drowning so can he please have one moment where he doesn’t feel like he is)
“That’s why you close the practices.”
“That’s why I close the practices. TAKE THAT FOR DATA.”
That last line improves 4,000% with Fizdale’s quote added. “Take that for data” was put on this earth for Houston Nutt to say at the end of sentences, whether or not it makes any sense. Someone let him know this before his next radio interview where he talks about how things weren’t that bad when he got paid $4.35 million to leave Ole Miss.
“But I just want to remind many our fans of this, number one. It was just fifty years. It’s been fifty years since you won back-to-back January one games. Fifty. Fifty. TAKE THAT FOR DATA.”
As I was trying to come up with something to write after that, I realized I would really enjoy hearing Houston Nutt using the word “mathematics” in a sentence.
“They played real hard. And uh, played harder than that 49-10 right, Neal? One of my players told me – I don’t read your stuff, they tell me what you say. One of my freshman told me that Neal McCready wrote that we’re gonna get beat 49-10. Wudn’t no 49-10. TAKE THAT FOR DATA.”
The raw power of his strut out of the room after saying that would’ve been strong enough to destroy the structural integrity of the building. WHY WERE WE CHEATED OF FIZDALE NOT BEING A HEAD COACH AND SAYING THIS IN 2010 SO THAT HOUSTON WOULD KNOW ABOUT IT. UGH.