So in case you’ve been living offline for the past 24 hours (which is probably a good strategy, imho), shit’s been hitting the fan on the world wide web. Things on Twitter and Facebook are in disarray, people are going at each other’s throats, and everyone and their mother seems to have a scathing opinion on things. [Not] good times, indeed.
Why? You may ask. Well, believe it or not, politics are the root of the issue. Again. The President made some controversial comments over the weekend regarding his thoughts on NFL players kneeling during the National Anthem, and naturally, everyone is pissed. NFL teams, at large, have decided to demonstrate peaceful protests during the National Anthem today; therefore, many people are voicing their stances about the subject on the internet. And in the midst of it all, the Pittsburgh Penguins have decided to announce that they’ve accepted their invitation to attend the White House championship ceremony again this year. Curious timing, to say the least.
So while there are going to be many mixed emotions about this decision by the Penguins, I’m here to help unite us all. After all, the Penguins also unveiled player headshots over the weekend, and I think we can all firmly agree that this new Phil Kessel headshot is fucking glorious.
You can almost smell the sex coming straight through the screen. And just like a fine wine, Phil is getting better with age. He’s the David Beckham of hockey, if you will.
But beware. Try not to ask him about his new luscious long locks.
In Phil We Trust.