Hot Tub Charmachine. BRUINS WIN.

Hot Tub Charmachine. BRUINS WIN.


Hot Tub Charmachine. BRUINS WIN.


Get used to this folks. This is the team we’ll see this year. One day they’ll be suffering they’re second loss in a row to a terrible, terrible team like the Avalanche, then crush a different bad team like the Coyotes. WE MISS YOU BERGERON. Strap on in for a wild year.

At first I thought this game might’ve been on ESPN Classic, in a universe where ESPN cares about and fires people for sexual assault instead of suspending people for having opinions.

Khudobin looked great like that one awesome season he had his first go round with the Bruins. Chara looked like 30 year old Chara instead of almost 40 year old Chara. The big guy still has some moves.

“But it was against the Coyotes Jon, you dumb stupid idiot!”

  • Let’s hear it for our lil buddy Anders Bjork and his first NHL goal!
  • Chara. A goal, two assists, three hits. Sprung Marchand for that sweet break away goal. Vintage Chara folks. Yeah, we’re well aware he’s lost several steps over the years but he’s one of the best players to ever wear a Bruins jersey. Hopefully once he’s done on the ice, he comes back as a defense coach.
  • Marchand. There is nothing in this world Robb loves more than Brad Marchand showing he’s elite. While I miss Bergeron like the deserts miss the rain, seeing Marchand do well without Bergeron is nice to see and shove in the faces of the “Marchand only does well with Bergeron”crowd.
  • After a couple of rough games against the wildly mismanaged Avalanche, Jake Debrusk had another swell games. Kid is a pleasure to watch. He had a goal and an assist in this one, and should continue to be one of the best gears in this Bruins youth movement machine. He took notes from his Captain and notched three hits as well. Nothing endears you to a Boston fan base like pretending you like Dunkin’ Donuts and dishing out hits.
  • They scored six mother fudging goals my dudes and dudettes! SIX. Twelve different Bruins had points last night. The took the Coyotes out back and pretended they were Old Yeller.
  • I feel like last season, this Bruins team would’ve sat on a third period lead and let the Coyotes creep back in. Last night in the third they pretended they were Donald Trump and the Coyotes were the hopes and dreams of children and just STOMPED that shit.
  • It causes me physical pain to complement Kevan Miller but he had nine hits and four blocks last night. He does spell his name wrong though, but we can blame his parents for that.
  • Danton Heinen with his third assist in two games. YOUTH MOVEMENT.
  • In our season preview, I predicted David Pastrnak would start slow before catching fire the rest of the season. With three points in four games and a goal last night, looks like I was wrong.

  • Shane Doan is still retired.

  • The trade Tuukka crowd. Get the fuck out of here. THERE IS NO ONE GOOD BEHIND HIM THAT CAN CARRY THIS TEAM OVER A FULL SEASON. Part of hopes he gets trade. I don’t think he should be traded, I just want to see the regret in the eyes of the TRADE TUUKKA army when Khudobin is the full time starter and the team is dead last in the division.
  • “But Jon, look at how Dobby played last night kid! He’s supah good, better than Tooka!”

  • Sorry this recap wasn’t better or longer. Game was late, I’m getting over a terrible cold and had to be up early to drive my wife to a 5k.
  • Look, they fucking SUCKED against Colorado and there were a lot of bad things to say about this team in those games. And there will be more struggles and more bad things to say. Last night’s game wasn’t perfect. But hey, for today let’s just leave any bad stuff alone and focus on a great 6-2 win.


  • Will this team find consistently as the season goes on?
  • Why are the DOY staff’s children so much cuter than your gross kids?

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