Week 4: The Same Old Song and Dance

Week 4: The Same Old Song and Dance


Week 4: The Same Old Song and Dance


Here we stand about to embark on the fourth week of the season and what do we have to show for it?

A team that is struggling with injuries yet somehow pulling off occasional miracles.

A team that is also managing to frustrate and irritate us by losing winnable games.

A team that has only played 7 games and currently has 3 wins, 3 losses and 1 overtime loss.

If you somehow thought this would be an easy season, you must not have been paying attention. This team, while not an outright disaster, is proving to be a challenge to watch this season and with the competition ahead of them this week I fear losses ahead.

That being said, certain players continue to shine. Brad Marchand and David Pastrnak have both played ridiculously well so far this season. Prior to his injury, David Krejci was also playing some decent hockey. Though the new kids on the block have had some struggles and made mistakes, they’ve also made contributions to the wins the Bruins have enjoyed so far.

The Bruins have a nice chunk of time off to rest and recuperate before they face off against their first opponent this week so perhaps that rest will allow for some healing to happen.

Let’s talk some shit about the opposition, shall we?

San Jose Sharks

Oh how I love to hate the San Jose Sharks. They are always a team that I despise until after the Bruins inevitably get eliminated in the playoffs. If the Sharks are somehow still in at that point, I bandwagon the shit out of them with absolutely zero shame.

The points leader on the Sharks at the time of my writing this is none other than Good Ol’ Weaselface himself, Logan Couture. Couture currently has 8 points (6G, 2A) and second to him is Joe Thornton with 6 points (1G, 5A). These two, plus Kevin Labanc and Joe Pavelski are definitely players to keep an eye on as the Bruins face off against them. Oh and they also have my favorite gorgeous bearded monster Bigfoot lookin’ man Brent Burns so that’s another huge thing I like about the Sharks I suppose.

In goal is the tandem of Martin Jones and Aaron Dell. I have no idea who this Dell character is but Jones is a name we all know very well for some reason. The starting goalie currently has a .915 sv% and a 2.64 GAA. Compared to Anton Khudobin, who we will see if Rask is still unwell (and let’s be real here, it’s a concussion so despite my wanting to see him back I’d rather not see him back until he’s legit good to go), Jones is the superior goalie and I’d be very surprised if the Sharks don’t start him.

Los Angeles Kings

On the other end of my love spectrum is the Kings. I loathe the Kings and everything they stand for (except for Anze Kopitar that is because if you don’t appreciate Kopitar you’re doing it wrong). Speaking of Kopitar, guess who currently leads the Kings in points with 11 total, 6 goals and 5 assists? Yep. Good old Droopy Dog lookin’ Anze Kopitar.

Following Kopitar with exactly the same number of points but 5 goals and 6 assists is Dustin Brown. I think if I had to name one player I disliked more than any other, it’s a toss up between Dustin Brown and…. no one. No, it’s just Dustin Brown. My reasons for disliking Brown are varied and range from his on ice antics to me just being a super judgey bitch about his off ice life, at least as portrayed on the TV show Hockey Wives. Regardless of my personal thoughts and feels though, Brown is having a good start to the season and that much credit should be given I guess.

You’ll have to excuse me, I just threw up a little after I wrote that.

In goal for the Kings are two actually scary goaltenders. Jonathan Quick is currently holding down a .938 sv% and a 1.99 GAA and Darcy Kuemper, the back up, sits with a .920 sv% and a 2.00 GAA. This is disgusting and uncalled for. The Bruins are going to definitely be challenged regardless of who is in net simply because both of these dudes are having pretty great seasons so far. An off night may happen, but if whoever is in net is on their game the Bruins slim chances get even smaller.

All in all, I can’t even tell you if the Bruins are going to win either of these games this week. If I had to make a gut based reactionary prediction I’d say they’ll beat the Sharks but lose to the Kings. Who really knows though? It all comes down to who is on the ice come Thursday and what roles they’re being asked to fill.

For Your Information

by Marshall

The Fantasy Implication

Maybe this time I’ll remember not to suggest people who are injured!

Our dear, shitty Bruins (anyone who blows a lead to Buffalo is shitty) have three games this week. At home against San Jose and L.A. and then Columbus on the road. They don’t play again until Thursday so hopefully that gives them plenty of time to think about what they’ve done. Sweet jesus.

We can’t support starting any Bruins goaltender this week unless Rask comes back. Sure, some jabronis are using click bait headlines to pretend their is a goalie controversy in Boston, but Khudobin gave up eight goals in two games to two of the NHL’s worst teams. Yeah, defense didn’t help but there it is. AVOID BRUINS GOALIES IN FANTASY THIS WEEK.

If you own Bergeron, Marchand, Pastrnak, Bjork or McAvoy, start ’em. The first three are basically match up proof and Bjork and McAvoy have looked great. Bjork and McAvoy are rookies, sure, and will have rough patches but this is fantasy so you right the hot hands while you can.

If you own Couture, start him against Boston. He’s heating up and the Bruins goaltending situation is bleak. DOY favorites Joe Pavelski and Brent Burns haven’t been their usual fantasy beasts selves so far but they’re too good not to turn it around and both tend to rank up SOG and HITS, especially Burns. Start ’em if you got ’em!

Martin Jones has not looked great. Wouldn’t start him against Bergeron and Marchand unless you track saves and really, really need them.

If you have an open roster spot and want a boom or bust player, take a risk on Kevin Labanc. Two goals and four points through seven games this season. When he’s on, he’s dynamic. When he’s not, he’s invisible.

For LA, Kopitar has a history of slow starts but is apparently ignoring that this year. Someone in Salem must have accused him of being a witch because he’s on fire. For fantasy beast but recent fantasy dud Dustin Brown is back in the picture. Take a flyer on him this week. He’s on an amazing hot streak for goals and assists, has LW/RW eligibility in Yahoo leagues and dishes out shots and hits like a pedophile dishes out false promises of candy and puppies if you just get in the van already. If you’re like Jon’s mom and really need some D, you’re safe starting Jake Muzzin. Six points in seven games for the Muzz.

If you have Jonathan Quick, he’s on a bigger tear than Ryan Spooner’s groin. Bruins offense is humming but you don’t sit Quick when he’s playing like this.

One possible advantage for the Bruins is that they’ll be LA’s third game in a cross country road trip this week. Then again, they lost to a Buffalo team that played the night before so who knows with these Bruins.


My top 5 starts for this week (in no particular order):

1. Bergeron

2. Marchand

3. Kopitar

4. Quick

5. Couture and his dumb, whiny horse face

by Jon

Parting Thoughts

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