Recap: Despite rough patches, Celtics hold back Phoenix tank battalion

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Ah, a late-night skirmish for our Boston Celtics against the Phoenix Suns tank battalion. This would either be a cakewalk, a steamrolling of an exposed-belly opponent—or a trap game, as elite vs. tank matchups can often be.

This one was both. For about a quarter and a half (divided between Q2 and Q3), Phoenix played harder, but on the strengths of Jayson Tatum and Al Horford, Boston avoided the ignominy of losing to a free-falling squad and secured their 51st win, 102-94.

THE GAME FLOW

Josh Jackson, aka The Dude On The Suns Who Has To Try When Devin Booker Can’t , had a decent start. But Tatum, aka The Dude Who Some Idiots Didn’t Want Picked at No. 3 Because They Wanted Josh Jackson COUGH SAM SHEEHAN COUGH, looked considerably more authoritative right from go.

Whether diving to the rim or blasting away from deep, Tatum showed no signs of back-to-back-game fatigue. He and Horford took the reins for Boston and dropped a hammer of a double-digit lead (31-15) on Phoenix by the end of Q1. Selfish basketball on the young Suns’ part kept them disconnected and discombobulated on the offensive end—think a lot of chucking by Jackson and Troy Daniels. And with this squad having been the epitome of defensively inept since the season started, I’m already wondering how much of any note will be worthy of inclusion in this gamer. (Oh, here’s something worth noting: Among the PHX starters, Jackson scored fairly well, with 14 points in the first quarter and a half—and none of the rest scored a single point. Good lord.)

[Note: I have just been informed that Sam Sheehan did NOT want the Cs to take Jackson at No. 3. My memory is horrible, but who he actually wanted drafted at that spot is worse. It rhymes with “bunk.”]

Around the 8:00 mark of the second quarter, Phoenix backup guards Davon Reed and Tyler Ulis forgot they were supposed to be tanking and fueled a mini-run for their hopeless squad. They were aided by Boston’s inability to make a fucking shot during that stretch, and shrank Boston’s lead from nearly 20 to 10, and then the rest of the Suns, even shaky prospects like Marquese Chriss, decided they would, like, also sorta try. This narrowed the margin all the way to a possession when halftime arrived, with Boston only leading 48-45. At this point, the Celtics reserves were getting more tick than the starters, but the slippage wasn’t their fault—more like collective lackadaisicality, which is not a real word, but it looks right so I don’t care.

The third quarter begins, with me thinking, “Suns, why must you be like this?” Jackson and Tatum continued their Battle of the Rookies, the former having more points but the latter appearing more polished. Brad Stevens, understandably, was extremely angry and didn’t give a shit about that, because he knows Boston should be beating this squad by like 69 points. If not for Dragan Bender playing some of the worst NBA basketball I have ever seen, Phoenix might have taken the lead for longer than a possession or two.

Fortunately for my sanity, the Celtics had enough of this shit halfway through the quarter and got their act together and control the game for the remainder, thanks to Marcus Morris resuming the strong work he put in during Q1. Sadly, Mook ended the quarter tweaking his bad ankle after a bum-rush foul from the Suns, but managed to shoot and make his foul shots, but then he had to return to the locker room and wasn’t walking well on that foot at all, but he was walking, so I don’t know what to think. TO HELL WITH INJURIES.

The silver lining on that particular cloud was the Celtics not needing Mook to ensure a victory in the fourth quarter, as the Suns shifted into tank posture for real: With the exception of Jackson, they started making stupid fouls, turning the ball over with greater frequency, chucking and so forth. The No. 4 pick did manage to accrue 23 points and make things briefly hairy down the stretch, but Stevens kept Tatum and Horford in the game during the final minutes to ensure the Suns couldn’t pull off a crazy upset, which they did not.

HOT ISH: Tatum being the Rookie of the Year in my heart. (He’ll get some votes, but the process-humpers with ROTY votes will give it to Simmons; in actuality it should probably be Donovanmitchellwhoplaystenorsax.) Horford also nearly got a triple-double in his usual finesse-driven fashion.

NOT ISH: Frickin’ lackadaisicality. This should’ve been a blowout with like, reasonable minutes for Kadeem Allen, but nooooooooooo.

GREEN FIRE

So good to see Jaylen back in action:

Horford/Tatum teamwork:

Box score

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