(Editor’s note: this is a re-blog from Monday since the Sports Daily’s site migration is going about as smoothly as this dude smashing bricks off his face and giving himself self-inflicted CTE on Sri Lanka’s Got Talent.)
Well, the Caps have done it again, folks. 2017-2018 Metropolitan Division Champs. You know what that means. It’s time to update the banner inside of the Verizon Center Capital One Arena once again and #RockTheRed because everything now until approximately the second week of May will be #ALLCAPS (on a side note, #ALLCAPS might be the dumbest fucking marketing campaign in the history of sports).
In all seriousness, I really just wanted to write an Evgeni Malkin appreciation blog today to honor Geno going batshit crazy last night and threatening the lives of no less than five Washington Capitals at once, but then I came across these series of tweets from respected DC sports radio host Grant Paulsen of 106.7 The Fan:
The Washington Capitals are Metro division champions. Heck of an accomplishment.
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) April 2, 2018
It's a good thing the Penguins have won the last two Stanley Cups because their isn't a worse team at losing than them. Man do they embarrass themselves when trailing by multiple goals late.
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) April 2, 2018
Evgeni Malkin acting like a tough guy while refusing to leave the bench was laugh out loud funny. You aren't going to do anything, guy. Everbody knows it. Go home.
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) April 2, 2018
— Nicolas Ruggeri (@YaBoiiBigNick19) April 2, 2018
I can't hear you over the division that was just won. I don't live in the past.
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) April 2, 2018
Grant’s tweets took me so off guard today I almost spit out my Americano (mixed with a few dashes of cinnamon, of course) all over my keyboard. This guy either has to be the most delusional person on the face of the planet or an A+ twitter troll, and I can’t seem to figure out which one it is yet. I mean, I don’t even know where to begin. Like if you’re a Washington Capitals fan you should be banned from talking any type of shit until your team makes it past at least the second round of the playoffs. And to back up your shit talking by saying you don’t live in the past while you celebrate your team’s 100th regular season division championship?
😂😂😂
I think you have to permanently spin zone your entire brain to trick yourself into truly thinking every year is eventually going to be the year your team gets over the hump after getting bounced out of the playoffs year in and year out like clockwork to lower seeded teams in embarrassing fashion.
I realize I’m not really touching upon anything exactly groundbreaking here, but it’s absolutely stunning to me that people (i.e. Caps fans) like Grant still exist in 2018. After all, we all knew the Caps were going to win the division. Then, before you know it, the Pens will inevitably come in second, and the two teams will match up in the second round of the playoffs like they always do. Mark it down.
And you know how that goes.
Gathering #Pens faithful at the steps pic.twitter.com/aN1BDLPDiG
— Pens Knitting Lady (@PensKnittngLady) April 28, 2017
P.S. – Here’s a little throwback to that time a few months ago when Grant Paulsen was adamant that Dan Patrick didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about when he said the wide receivers in Washington don’t like Kirk Cousins.
Dan Patrick called Kirk Cousins "Curt" six times while speculating that he's heard behind the scenes that receivers don't like him. (1) Learn his name. (2) I don't believe that. (3) Ryan Grant & Maurice Harris' opinions matter? (I don't buy it anyway).
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) December 6, 2017
I listen to Dan Patrick's podcast every day. Look up to him. I'm not saying he's lying. I'm saying that whoever told him the team's receivers don't like him may not be correct. These are the "stories" that come out when a team is playing sub-500 December football.
— Grant Paulsen (@granthpaulsen) December 6, 2017
Wonder how that worked out.
P.P.S. – My apologies for not #StickingToPens with the P.S.
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