#TBT: Wake up with former Penguins coach Michel Therrien calling out his entire team for being ‘soff’ at a press conference

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(Editor’s Note: It’s been a little while since I (or anyone else at tPB for that matter) have blogged anything so I figured I’d start something new before the season gets underway. Perhaps give myself a chance to hone up on the old writing skills (or lack thereof) before we’re blogging every other night. So without further ado, I present to you the the #TBT series. Every Thursday from now until people think this sucks ass (which could be as soon as today) I’ll highlight a memorable funny/cool moment from Penguins history. This could either end up being good, or this could end being terrible. You decide. Let me know your thoughts on Twitter. You can find me at @PeepsBurgh.)

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People probably don’t remember this well, but once upon a time (before the 11-year playoff streak and the three Stanley Cups post-Mario Lemieux era) the Pittsburgh Penguins were absolute dog shit. In fact, the 2005-2006 Penguins finished the regular season with a final record of 22-46-14 (58 points) – good enough for 15th place in the eastern conference. Rock fucking bottom (in the east, at least). The only team that somehow managed to suck more that year was the St. Louis Blue (57 points).

The 2005-2006 regular season was, for the most part, a complete train wreck. A little over two months into the season, the Penguins were so bad that GM Craig Patrick decided to fire the entire coaching staff. Think about that for a second. The ENTIRE coaching staff. MID-SEASON! How many times have ever heard that happen before? Like never? I’m talking the head coach (shoutout Eddie Olczyk), both assistant coaches (one happened to be Hall-of-Famer Joe Mullen), the goaltending coach, and even the goddamn strength & conditioning coach. Basically anyone who was interacting with the players in any capacity gone in the snap of a finger.

That same day, Craig Patrick went on to promote the entire Wilkes-Barre/Scranton staff to the big team, which included Michel Therrien being named as the Penguins newest head coach.

Under Therrien’s helm that year, things didn’t get much better for the black and gold. One month after being promoted, the Penguins second leading scorer, Ziggy Palffy, decided to retire due to personal reasons (the rumor was it was because the team sucked so bad). Then, six days later, it was Mario Lemieux’s turn to hang up the skates due to an irregular heartbeat.

With shit falling apart left and right, the Penguins would go on to finish the season under Therrien with a record of 14-29-8. Nevertheless, there were a few bright spots, though. Most notably, 18-year old rookie Sidney Crosby (ever heard of him?) finished the season with an astounding 102 points (6th best in the league). And of course, we were blessed with the infamous Michel Therrien press conference rant above.

So why did Michel Therrien go off on his team that day? Well, for starters, did I mention the Penguins sucked ass? That most certainly could’ve fueled the fire. But to be more specific, Therrien was absolutely furious with his team’s response (or lack thereof) to Ilya Kovalchuk bossing around his young superstar, Sidney Crosby, like a puppet a few days earlier in Atlanta (RIP).

If this video doesn’t make you want to punch Kovalchuk’s face through your screen, then consider yourself “soff” as well. In my opinion, Therrien could’ve went off way worse than he actually did. Regardless, this is my personal highlight of the 2005-2006 regular season.

P.S. – Here’s a fun fact about Michel Therrien – he was eventually fired because he threatened to bench Evgeni Malkin for not passing the puck enough. Bonus fun fact – he enjoyed ripping cigs in the locker room.

P.P.S. – How brutal was hockey before HD TV came around? The kids today don’t know what it’s like to watch a hockey game on TV without seeing the puck the entire time. Top 5 innovation over the last 15 years or so imo.

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