A Giants Cove Exclusive! We Have the LA Angels’ Written Exam for Manager

A Giants Cove Exclusive! We Have the LA Angels’ Written Exam for Manager

MLB

A Giants Cove Exclusive! We Have the LA Angels’ Written Exam for Manager

Hold on to your authentic MLB-branded reversible ball caps! We recently got the news that the LA Angels of Anaheim decided to include a two-hour written test as part of their process to hire a new Halos manager.

Well thanks to an anonymous source deep within the fake rockpile beyond the center field fence at Angels Stadium, The Giants Cove received a copy of the actual written exam that Angels managerial candidates are being forced to take.

The two-hour LA Angels Manager Written Test comes in three parts. Here are some short excerpts from each of the three test sections:

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Part 1 — Match the Mascots to the Teams.
(You have 1 hour and 50 minutes.)
Directions: Historic Major League Baseball teams are listed in the left column. In the right column is a list of historic team mascots over the years.
You must find a way to connect the dots from each team to the team’s correct mascot (which is located just opposite of each team).
Note: Several of these mascots are not currently allowed in public areas due to pending criminal investigations.

Team…………………………………..Team Mascot
California Angels………………..Roscoe the Disease-Ridden Rodent
Anaheim Angels…………………Amber Alert Ronald
LA Angels of Anaheim……….Kaiser Sose
Brooklyn Trolley Dodgers….Pee Cup Benny
Boston Beaneaters………………Truman the Extremely Angry Beaver
Pittsburgh Lavenders…………Universal Precautions Raymond
Newark Dwarf Hustlers…….Reach Around Bill

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Part 2 – Advanced Analytics Identification.
(You have 5 minutes.)
Directions: Fill in the specific details for the following sabermetric and analytical terms now commonly used throughout Major League Baseball (except in San Francisco, where advanced analytics consists of the tired cliché “Keep the line moving”).

1. OPS+L: On-base, slugging, plus factoring in whatever the player had for lunch that day.

2. WAR-o: This is when the “replacement” player used as the standard measure is from another sport.

3. ESR-bull: Expected spin-rates from our major political parties.

4. wRC@L: Weighed runs created at lunch. This is also related to the player’s most recent meal, but in this case it quantifies the specific effects of spicy Mexican or Szechwan food.

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Part 3 – Identify Which Baseball Terms Also Describe Inappropriate Relationship Behavior.
(You have 5 minutes.)
Directions: Put an “X” next to each common baseball term that also describes inappropriate behavior when dating or inappropriately describing a recent date to inappropriate fellow teammates.
(And please make sure the inappropriate X’s are straight lines.) 

  1. 40-40 Club
  2. 30-30 Club
  3. Around the horn
  4. Breaking balls
  5. Bang-bang play
  6. Bare hand it
  7. Caught looking
  8. Dinger
  9. Dribbler
  10. Getting good wood on something
  11. Moving into scoring position
  12. Five tool player
  13. One tool player
  14. Foul pole
  15. Going deep
  16. In the hole
  17. Pitcher’s best friend
  18. Screwball
  19. Spitball
  20. Squeeze play

Obviously this carefully conceived written exam will provide the Angels front office with the information they need to pick the right candidate. Take the exam yourself and share it with your friends!

Who knows. The next phone call you get could be from the Los Angeles California Angels of Anaheim Angels!

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