If there was ever a time to bring back Rich’s old TweetCap for one night and one night only, the most fitting time would have to be in the form of the Penguins getting swept in the first round to the goddamn Islanders.
And, folks, are we in for a ride. Let’s go.
https://twitter.com/mport56/status/1118168291854438401
https://twitter.com/atrichmiller/status/1118204344715894785
They didn’t. But it is truckmonth. Important perspective to maintain.
Pregame
Galaxy brain shit kicking us off coming out of Long Island. This Greg guy should stick to being a “broadcaster on lacrosse talk radio.”
Whatever the fuck that means.
Could totally see the stripes being against the #isles 2n, the poster boy and the best team in the league about to be swept on the same night no way can the league have that, I hope #CBj pulls it off, that way the #isles do the same we can all eat bitch lasagnA
— islesstink21 (@garysanchezjr) April 16, 2019
In the end, Gretz had this all pegged during warmups. We didn’t listen. We. Didn’t. Listen.
Have you ever heard a techno remix of Enter Sandman? Because I now have.
— Adam Gretz (@AGretz) April 16, 2019
Some different warmup tunes tonight for the Penguins. Have heard Disturbed (Down With the Sickness), AC/DC (Back in Black), Motley Crue (Kickstart My Heart) and Papa Roach (Last Resort) so far.
— Jason Mackey (@JMackeyPG) April 16, 2019
Also Dan had this pegged before Game 1. Again, listening is something none of us did.
— Dan Hopper (@DanHoppOPS) April 16, 2019
Let's do this. pic.twitter.com/ZsmglHDQPr
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 16, 2019
Were they told what's going to happen once they get there
— Jed (@Jedidiah412) April 16, 2019
https://twitter.com/thee_best_smart/status/1118295745680027649
The music told the story. Music: Actually bad now.
First Period
https://twitter.com/mport56/status/1118296244546359296
Puck drop. Game on.
GAME ON!#LetsGoPens pic.twitter.com/9SfMaYjPkI
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 16, 2019
Took just 35 seconds. Guentzel, baby. 1-0 Pens.
Jake Awake
— Matt Taylor (@Matt_Taylor66) April 16, 2019
NOT DEAD YET
— Mike Darnay (@MikeDarnay) April 16, 2019
Hot take: Lehner gets pulled tonight
— JF (@HopintheCordoba) April 16, 2019
Narrator: He didn’t.
Let’s not give up a goal in the next minute, now
— ⱼₐₛ (@j_a155) April 16, 2019
congrats to the islanders on their goal in the next minute or two
— Alex (@alb_971) April 16, 2019
It would take just 1:34 lmao.
Me when Eberle has the puck pic.twitter.com/tZGdqb0s3I
— Agatha Snarkness 🇺🇦 (@rockcandy87) April 16, 2019
Jordan Eberle, my goodness. A goal per game so far this postseason and he ties the game 1-1. Barzal and Mayfield assist #Isles pic.twitter.com/21gm5WsqRb
— Shayna (@hayyyshayyy) April 16, 2019
And, of course, it was Letang that made the mistake to set it up. DJ, heat up them takes.
Trading Letang should be on the table. Won Cup without him. Better record without him this year. More structured without him. Really good player, not irreplaceable.
— Andrew Fillipponi (@ThePoniExpress) April 16, 2019
Heat: Brought.
Why is this team stupid
— Meesh (@MeeshS17) April 16, 2019
Impossible to say, but the Pens would get a powerplay not long later at least, right?
Here's Barzal's two hand slash to Dumoulin's bicep. Dumo was giving him the business down low, but you cannot swing your stick like this regardless of what body part it connects with pic.twitter.com/tmncLGfH5P
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
Dumoulin was bleeding. Ref gave him the "go away" hand wave.
— Josh Yohe (@JoshYohe_PGH) April 17, 2019
Wrong. It would go as expected. See also: Meesh’s tweet.
This power play is going really well.
— PensBurgh (@Pensburgh) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/molinaripg/status/1118305926065340417?s=21
https://twitter.com/aceofcrame/status/1118306566715973632?s=21
https://twitter.com/z23smitty/status/1118306814054084608?s=21
Incredible pass in front and the goal makes it 2-1 Isles #wpxi
— Alby Oxenreiter (@albyox) April 17, 2019
literally all gudbranson has to do here is go to the front of the net and stop. that's it. that breaks up the centering pass if it comes there https://t.co/sB91g7IwOX
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
2-1 Islanders.
— The Pensblog (@Pensblog) April 17, 2019
Second Period
By the time that shot made it 2-1, you knew the Pens weren’t scoring again.
Not-even-that-bold prediction: Mike Sullivan won't be the Penguins coach on Christmas Day 2019.
— Chris Mueller (@ChrisMuellerPGH) April 17, 2019
Pens have the championship coach. I want players that fucking listen to him
— Bioshock (@BioshockLGP) April 17, 2019
Jack Johnson makes me miss Matt Hunwick
— Cassy (@frootylich) April 17, 2019
What the #Pens need rn #LetsGoPens pic.twitter.com/fyskh8pszw
— Around The 412 (@AroundThe412) April 17, 2019
Trade Jack Johnson to open up the cap space to sign our hunk friend. Who says no? We don’t and NEITHER SHOULD YOU.
Matt Cullen is playing like the men's league player he'll be tomorrow.
— DJ Gallo (@DJGalloEtc) April 17, 2019
We wouldn’t invite him to fill for our teams.
Kuhnhackl is called for holding on Guentzel. #Pens to the power play with 12:05 left in the 2nd. -MC
— Pens Inside Scoop (@PensInsideScoop) April 17, 2019
Pens would end up back on the powerplay with a chance to tie it up. Again, it’d go as expected.
Crosby hits the post. Lehner was looking the other way.
— Wes Crosby (@OtherNHLCrosby) April 17, 2019
The Penguins are literally never scoring again. pic.twitter.com/PMy7a9z0gJ
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/molinaripg/status/1118316100377350144?s=21
After the kill, Psychopath Playoff Patric Hornqvist showed up to try to do an actual murder kill.
Hornqvist is nuts pic.twitter.com/ta34mBrLhS
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
RIP HIS NECK TATTOO OFF
— Peep (@PeepsBurgh) April 17, 2019
Marlins Man, I know you're busy at the game but i also know you're a big supporter of the troop. This is my brother who passed away last year in Afghanistan. A retweet would mean a lot. pic.twitter.com/90nyi6Wizk
— Bitcoin Morpheus (@BTCMorpheus) April 17, 2019
The troop’s would of never let this series end up like this.
https://twitter.com/z23smitty/status/1118319487227396096?s=21
They just would of never let this happen either.
Cizikas with a gutless cup check on Crosby. Normal pic.twitter.com/5F0D3qKBkx
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
Or this.
Oh, and it’s not like the Islanders weren’t playing with a short bench or anything. Remember this, it’s important when they lose 3-1.
#Isles now down Boychuk, Clutterbuck and Eberle. https://t.co/jeurTgh1U7
— Tribune-ReviewSports (@TribSports) April 17, 2019
Stats after 40 minutes of play ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/X5ucKT4pEX
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118322164581765121
https://twitter.com/bmf919/status/1118325777584590848
Spoiler Alert: it’d be October.
Ok guys, I’m home and can watch the third.
You’re welcome.
— Patrick Damp #WeMakeKDKA (@SynonymForWet) April 17, 2019
Fantastic.
Third Period
Game wasn’t even over yet before Bucci brought some brain genius silky sauce buckets mitts to the table.
i pray for patience during trying times when not smart people say not smart things pic.twitter.com/cgQXwb43eX
— Mike Darnay (@MikeDarnay) April 17, 2019
Fortunately, the timing worked out that we could all tune into the cleanup job in Columbus.
https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118326870263697416
Back to Penguins.
https://twitter.com/Coutsey/status/1118327016602759173
https://twitter.com/bmf919/status/1118327222035722241
Shit shit no we fucked up take us back. Do not like.
THAT'S TWO FOR TEX!!!!!!
6-3, #CBJ pic.twitter.com/nJYTDum8KD
— Columbus Blue Jackets (@BlueJacketsNHL) April 17, 2019
what a ridiculous sport we devote so much of our time to watching and talking about online
— Al Whoabotka (@Whoabot) April 17, 2019
Okay good that’s better.
Back to the Pens…
It’s been lost a bit in the #Pens mediocre performance, but Robin Lehner has been outstanding.
— Alan Saunders (@ASaunders_PGH) April 17, 2019
Never. Scoring. Again. https://t.co/rjILidKnJI
— The Pensblog (@Pensblog) April 17, 2019
Goddamnit. Can we go back to Columbus? The cannon is better than this.
Right after the Islanders go back to full strength, Bjugstad takes a tripping penalty. Now they'll head to the man-advantage with 11:53 left. -MC
— Pens Inside Scoop (@PensInsideScoop) April 17, 2019
Or you could spend most of your time struggling to get out of you end clean. Either one is cool I guess. =/ https://t.co/sv3GmbZnFw
— Eric Majeski (@LGP_netwolf) April 17, 2019
Pretty convinced that the Pens are going to tie this game, only to surrender the lead 90 seconds later.
— Chris Mueller (@ChrisMuellerPGH) April 17, 2019
This would’ve been fitting.
I think it might be time for Hornqvist to pick a fight with Trotz.
— Bill Crawford (@dveBillCrawford) April 17, 2019
Couldn’t have hurt, right? Take the head off the rat and it can’t trap anymore. That’s a normal saying that human people say out loud.
Watching This Third Period pic.twitter.com/eqAhRPVxq8
— BIG BOB (@FSBigBob) April 17, 2019
Pittsburgh's Pro Sports team's ranked by W%.
1) Pirates (.600)
2) Steelers (.594)
3) Penguins (.536)*hides*
— Jim Rosati 🇺🇦 (@northsidenotch) April 17, 2019
What the hell is this city.
https://twitter.com/thee_best_smart/status/1118331789628592128
Six minutes left in the season…
https://twitter.com/Rick_City/status/1118331940661288960
Fuck
— The Exposed Turnbuckle (@thenaitch) April 17, 2019
I had a hard time with doing one. https://t.co/ihDzXnGXf4
— Jesse Marshall (@jmarshfof) April 17, 2019
Evergreen Jesse.
DO SOMETHING
— PensBurgh (@Pensburgh) April 17, 2019
The #Pens could be 5:00 away from a sixth straight loss in the playoffs.
— Wes Crosby (@OtherNHLCrosby) April 17, 2019
Remember when Tom Kuhnhackl was just a more mobile Cardboard Orpik that meowed? pic.twitter.com/nWbfDOsK9x
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/amc424/status/1118333494596440064
https://twitter.com/dwancherry/status/1118332648118784000
Yes.
https://twitter.com/queenjaynine/status/1118334491251171328
https://twitter.com/dwancherry/status/1118334624416043008
Glass half full mode.
Goalie pulled. Extra skater on:
Gudbranson’s stick breaking there feels like the series in a nutshell.
— Sam Werner (@sjwerner11) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/avolosk/status/1118334951152340999
Sid passed up 2 shots in that last sequence. Gotta put them on night right now and ask questions later.
— Casey Shea (@SheaVedIce) April 17, 2019
there's a skunk outside of my house and it still doesn't stink as bad as these last 45 seconds
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
The Islanders score on the empty net. Pittsburgh trails 3-1.
— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) April 17, 2019
Game over… series over. #Pens # pic.twitter.com/CwnoYwdb4L
— Tim Williams (@realtimwilliams) April 17, 2019
pens are like your fav cousin but they’re going through some shit after graduating college. so you don’t wanna go out with them rn bc they drink too much and embarrass you.
— dev (@devinnnc) April 17, 2019
god was simply on the islanders side. no other explanation
— chet (tyler) (@Mouserat_fan2) April 17, 2019
Pens really needed the Troops to counter this. Shameful that they didn’t think of them.
Well… getting swept certainly isn’t ideal. #WhatHappened #🐧 pic.twitter.com/SWlzaQPQQH
— Pat McAfee (@PatMcAfeeShow) April 17, 2019
Game. Blouses. pic.twitter.com/fuFX2flvRa
— Seth Rorabaugh (@SethRorabaugh) April 17, 2019
Series.
Post Game thoughts
Let it all out, fam.
Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins for winning as many games as the Lightning and Senators? https://t.co/trTwShcVeE
— Ian's Altenbaugh (@IanAltenbaugh) April 17, 2019
Crosby and the Pens going home in four straight is the craziest NHL sweep I've seen in minutes.
— Down Goes Brown (@DownGoesBrown) April 17, 2019
Sure the Penguins got swept, but LOOK OVER THERE AT THE LIGHTNING.
— Steve Braband (@stevebraband) April 17, 2019
https://twitter.com/Rick_City/status/1118335332615897088
https://twitter.com/dameofscones/status/1118335940290908162
Underrated part of this all. It’s refreshing. Don’t @ us.
Bring the booze, though.
Paul Steigerwald is probably ordering shots of Crown right now
— Mike Darnay (@MikeDarnay) April 17, 2019
The Penguins may have lost tonight, but let’s remember to put things in perspective:
Several hikers fell to their death tonight trying to drink shitty whiskey— Randy Baumann (@DVERandy) April 17, 2019
wishing sidney crosby a relaxing summer and hoping he gets to indulge in exactly one (1) seasoned chicken breast
— audrey bowler (@aud_bowler) April 17, 2019
And, perhaps the most important thing…
Thank you for making the playoffs and getting us to Game of Thrones season, Pens
— Meesh (@MeeshS17) April 17, 2019
Mario, guide us.
that about sums it up pic.twitter.com/B4ceYzPXVf
— nerd king geoff (@geoffwithano) April 17, 2019
Welp. Okay then. Take us away, Amy.
Deuces.
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