I’ve already moved past the loss I envision us having tomorrow. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. I’ve tried to protect myself so many times from the pain that is the Chargers, but you can’t disconnect entirely. If so, there’s no point. Last season’s biggest moment, the 2-point conversion in KC, occurred when I went downstairs to steady myself with a shot. It wasn’t because I was afraid they wouldn’t convert, I didn’t even consider that they’d go for it. I was actually more worried they’d miss the extra point. Nonetheless, the pure joy experienced on that catch by Mike Williams was fueled by the constant dread that the Chargers would fuck it up. It was great to watch for the first time once I knew the result 60 seconds later, but you can’t avoid being hurt and disappointed entirely unless you just stop being a fan.
Obviously, I feel more doom and gloom with the Gordon holdout, James injury, Okung embolism and now Badgley groin pull. I can already envision a loss like any of the first four from 2017, including the one at Indy. But if I’m gonna watch, I might as well try and be positive. There is no question that a lot of games last year would have been classic Charger losses in the past. Tennessee, Seattle, Pittsburgh, Kansas City… Sure, the Denver game may have cost us home-field advantage. But if we don’t win any of those other four we don’t even get into the postseason. They tried to give away a few of those wins, but they didn’t. That was different. Was it an aberration? Did they finally learn how to be something other than the “Same Old Bolts?”
Even if they did, how will that translate to this season? I do understand that giving Melvin Gordon 13 million dollars could negatively impact signing other guys in the future. This holdout is actually one of the few times that the rest of the NFL isn’t laughing at what the Chargers are doing. However, the frequently-mentioned stat that we went 4-0 without him is stupid. We had to come back big time in KC and Pitt. It just seems like there is possibility we sign Gordon and I fear that a trade will be like selling back those textbooks you bought in college. You’ll never get anything even close to what you spent in return.
One person is not bigger than the team, but I’m not so sure that Jackson and Ekler can hold it down. Our line isn’t great, especially without Okung. Gordon broke a lot of tackles, but we’ll see. Of course without Luck, it just seems like the perfect storyline for a Charger loss. But now it doesn’t seem like we are the overwhelming favorite, despite point the point spread. At this point, imagining the “Chargers can’t win without Gordon,” “they lost to a backup,” “the Bolts’ backup kicker blew the game” storylines won’t do anything. Many times last year this team surprised me in a big way. I was fully convinced they’d lose at Buffalo, remember? I’m sure I’ll do the same thing when I go to the game at Miami in Week 4 and they are literally viewed as the worst team in football.
I do trust Anthony Lynn. You can’t watch a second of “Backstage Chargers” and not love the guy. Telesco has a lot more hits than misses. No matter how douchey Dean and his kids appear, I still can’t believe that they simply refuse to spend on players. That is the perception, for sure. Telesco even addressed that in an interview with Nick Hardwick this week. These may be the Chargers, but they at least have some decent minds in the building. Ingram proved me wrong in a big way last season and a healthy Bosa will be huge. Hunter Henry making a contribution will also be huge for the offense. James is a huge loss, but there is at least reason to believe he’ll be back before the season is over.
There is reason for optimism. If the Chargers revert to their heartbreaking ways, they’ll go about it in an entirely new way possibly. As was the case last year, Sunday is the anniversary of my dad’s passing. I miss him like hell, but he left a lot of love behind. It’s crazy to have to mention it, but that’s the kind of shit that matters. Of course, my dad suffered through a lot of Charger games with me and always supported my support. Starting tomorrow we’ll have a whole new bunch of things to complain about. Maybe we won’t, but I guess it doesn’t matter anyway. We’ll talk after the Colts game.