Rezcap 68: I had to watch this whole thing

Rezcap 68: I had to watch this whole thing


Rezcap 68: I had to watch this whole thing


Pittsburgh Penguins’ Brian Dumoulin, left, skates to the bench as Carolina Hurricanes’ Jake Gardiner (51) is greeted by teammates after giving his team the lead with a goal during the second period of an NHL hockey game, Sunday, March 8, 2020, in Pittsburgh. (AP Photo/Keith Srakocic)


“At this point who knows.”

I think that’s how most Pens fans are feeling today.

Since reinforcements arrived via the trade deadline and players returning from injury most of us assumed it would be smoother sailing from here on. But since a disastrous California road trip and getting shithoused by the Caps yesterday we are left, again, with more questions than answers.

The Pens are solidly in third staring up directly at the hottest team in hockey. A lot can change from here to April, but the Pens need to start finding answers, preferably today.

Carolina beat the Isles in OT yesterday 3-2 and with their games in hand sit in a good position to claim one of the final 2 spots in the East. Justin Williams had EIGHT (8) shots on goal yesterday, and noted Penguin killer/native Vincent Trochek scored the GWG.

We all have our eyes on how the Pens are going to start this thing. If it’s another lollygagger of a start….oh boy.




Gardiner-van Riemsdyk


The Canes are banged up right now too with no Ryan Dzingel, Dougie Hamilton, Brett Pesce, Petr Mrazek and James Reimer.

Nedeljkovic is a career AHLer to this point with only 5 NHL starts, he is 1-2-1 in those with a .900 save%. This year he was .905 in the AHL and is .866 in his 3 starts this year with the big club.

Please don’t do the thing where you get shutout by some rando chud Pens. I am already hungover I cannot do this today. I also just bet on this game because I hate myself.

E-Rod draws back in. Jarry in the cage. Let’s do that hockey.


Puck Drops. Game on.

Pens to the PK early when Malkin knocks the stick out of stupid name boy’s hands. Interference. Power play only last 45 seconds before Blueger pisses off Svechnikov and he does something stupid. 4on4.

This tweet is a cry for help #BellLetsTalk

44 seconds of powerplay killed off by the Canes.

Nothing happens, nothing happens, Pens have a 4 on 2 that goes offside because sure. Meers has said how old Svechnikov is like 4 times.

That escalated quickly dot gif.

Marleau hits the jets coming off the bench, Sheary finds him with speed and the old man backhands one home for his first as a Penguin. 1-0 good guys.

The goaltending there is not very good!

Doesn’t last long though. Pens lose a d-zone faceoff, Malkin lets Geekie get loose in front and Gardiner finds his stick for an easy re-direct home. His first as an NHLer. 1-1.

Geno. Woof.

High event hockey all of a sudden. Crosby gets his own rebound and slides it to Zuck who is hooked up, Pens back to the PP.

Pens don’t do shit. Blueger takes an o-zone penalty and the Pens head back to the PK. After a couple good Canes chances E-Rod shows up testing Ned shorthanded and then drawing a penalty himself. I like Lafferty, but right now Rodrigues should be in the lineup.

The Pens powerplay looks fucking terrible so the Canes take another penalty 5 on 3 for 22 seconds. Geno from 3 point land.

Hornqvist spends more time on the front porch than your grandma.

Gene’s goal beats the clock by 1 second, so the Pens stay on the man advantage. Killed.

Crowd is into this one and Pens respond closing out the period with a solid minute of zone time. Rodrigues looking dangerous.

Horn sounds. The Pens look awake today, gotta carry it over to the last 40. I am cautiously optimistic.


Puck drops.

Business is picking up. Jarry has to make two impressive saves with Justin Williams in his mouth, the second one without his stick scrambling to grab the puck before it crosses the line.

Canes are coming.

Malkin just slid to block a point shot wtf.

Ugly Bjugstad turnover at the Pens blue line leads to a Canes 2on1 Aho shoots low blocker but Jarry answers and the rebound goes wide. Canes really controlling play, shots 5-0 Carolina 5 minutes into the 2nd.

E-Rod continues to impress, winning a D-zone faceoff, skating it out of his own zone and then drawing a 2nd penalty when he’s tripped down the left wing. Dude is really skating. Pens to the powerplay.

2nd powerplay has better luck than the first. Two good looks for McCann but he still can’t bust his slump. Killed, but leads to some good zone time.

Well, shit, here we go again. Trochek makes a bullshit hit on McCann and he goes right to the room. Boarding, but somehow only 2 minutes, total horseshit.

Feels like the Pens have been on the powerplay the entire game. McCann is back on the Pens bench as the Pens pp is impotent once again.

Ugh, soft one from Jarry. Slavin throws it at the net looking for a tip but all it finds is twine. 2-2 game.

That is charmin soft.

Canes energized. 2on1 but Svechnikov can’t elevate it over Jarry’s pad. Rust tries to put a saddle on Gardiner and ride him like a pretty pony. Canes to the PP.

E-Rod hits a post off a nice play by Tanev, but takes a holding penalty seconds later. The Pens are able to kill the 5on3 but never clear the zone. Dumoulin loses a puck battle and Gardiner is able to drive one home from the point. Pens trail 3-2.

Through 2:

  • Complete lack of offense on the powerplay.
  • This group is finding new ways to lose right now.
  • Jarry getting outplayed by a sub .900 goalie.

Image result for disgusted gif


I wanted answers. Time to get them.

Puck drops. Here we go.

Early chance for the Canes skitters through the crease. That would have been game. Not exactly the desperate start ya want.

Pens changing up some lines but still nothing doing. 12 to go.

4-2 Carolina. Williams tips in a Fleury point shot.

Blueger takes a puck to the stomach which is a little too obvious of a metaphor.

I think I’m gonna make a sandwich.

Williams scored again. 5-2 Canes. Whatever.

6-2 Canes. Geekie with an assist from Johnson and Schultz.

Down 3-2, going into the 3rd, in what feels like a must win and losing 6-2 to an AHL goalie is not what you want.

Horns Sounds. Game.


  • It’s never as good or as bad as it seems.
  • Goaltending, shooting %, puck luck. Happens to every team at some point in the year. Bad timing.
  • Devils on Tuesday. Jackets on Thursday. Rematch Saturday. Road trip might not be the worst thing in the world right now.
  • Going for a walk.

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