Quarantine Theater: Edition I

Quarantine Theater: Edition I

Combat

Quarantine Theater: Edition I

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(With all combat sports ground to a halt and stay home orders enacted, you’re stuck inside, we’re stuck inside, let’s watch some fun fight stuff on YouTube.)

In the year of our Lord 2003, MMA legend, PRIDE color commentator, and incredible personality Bas Rutten released perhaps the finest instructional video ever created, the “Bas Rutten Lethal Street Fighting Self Defense System”. This gem, that appears to take place in my local Max & Erma’s, uses Bas’s history not only as a mixed martial artist, but bouncer and street fighter extraordinare, to show you how to defend yourself from hostiles. By using, but not limited to, barstools, booths, tables, pool cues, and the kick to the beans, you too can defend yourself from even the most riled up soccer mom after four Bellinis.

Pay special attention to Bas’s poor volunteers and how he goes much, much, too hard and realistic, to the point of being a fraction of a millimeter from actually concussing them multiple times.

 

GQ runs this series, and he’s not the first fighter to be profiled (FORESHADOWING!), but goddamn, who wouldn’t want to switch places with Cowboy for a goddamned day. Special cameo by Danger and the missus.

 

There are a bunch of PRIDE highlight videos out there, luckily, I am an enormous mark for them and will watch them until my eyes and ears bleed and can find the best ones.

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