RECAP 36: Good. Pens Stymie Ises 2-1 feat. Better Than Ezra

RECAP 36: Good. Pens Stymie Ises 2-1 feat. Better Than Ezra

Penguins

RECAP 36: Good. Pens Stymie Ises 2-1 feat. Better Than Ezra

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The 2021 Penguins are trying to get in the Position of Fuck You.

Who’s hair is more bizarre?  Bald Goodman or Mullet Walhberg?

The banged up Birds have been stacking points, while the Flyers have been free falling.  Not the fun Tom Petty kind, either.  The excruciating Mean Mr. Mustard version.

If both teams continue trending this way for another 2 weeks, the Penguins will be very close to the Position of Fuck You [as it relates to a playoff spot]. Talkin’ nest egg lake house, $5M in a savings account earning 3-5% per year, no-shoes-and-frosted-tips relaxation for the final 15 games.

Is this a jinx?  Maybe.  The Flyers came back tonight down 3-0 vs the Sabres.

As for the Pens, it was a House Money Game vs. the New York Over-Achievers (Islanders).  Let’s ‘Cap this ass.

1ST PERIOD

Before the game, Varlamov’s ex-girlfriend tried to get back at him by loosening his skate blade, so we had a brief equipment stoppage.

Pens went to the man advantage after some Islander coughed on McCann’s stick.  No clue how it broke that easily.

Power play specialist Anthony Angello did what we all expected him to do.

PIT Goal (PP) – Angello (2) A: Marino, Matheson [4:24] 1-0 PIT

How about Dan Marino carrying the mail all the way up ice?  What a confident play.  Don’t sleep on Father Matheson’s shot block, either.

Stevie Janowski fanned on a shot shortly after, which was all I needed to really start enjoying the game.

Mears and Errey said “March of the Penguins” like 7 times, then Bob started giving Lafferty a hand job after he went offsides for some reason.

Leo Komarov took a break from stealing the Frogger machine for Costanza to take a penalty.

Seriously though, Komarov looks like he’s 56 years old

Letang retaliated when Cizikas tried to take a bump from his cocaine stash by trying to decapitate him, so we went to 4-on-4.

Working with the extra ice, Danny “Dimes” Marino put another dart on a streaking McCann to double the lead.

PIT Goal – McCann (2) A: Marino, Matheson [18:28] 2-0 PIT

McCann’s stock and Game Stop stock showing a similar trajectory through 1Q 2021.

2ND PERIOD

DeSmith mysteriously in net to start the 2nd.

Some 4-on-4 excitement following consecutive offensive zone penalties by Pageau/Letang, but no blood.

Now is good time to mention I absolutely ADORE the Letang 2-fer.  He is an unbelievable player, and I love him.  But his knack for following up a terrible play (usually a turnover) with an even worse one (usually a penalty) in succession is hall-of-fame-level comedy.

Guentzel to the box for having no facial hair.  Uh oh.

NYI Goal (PP) – Martin (6) A: Eberle, Barzal [9:22] 2-1 PIT

Made you wonder if there was an angry Islanders blogger somewhere saving their “Players Like Matt Martin Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Breathe Air or Play in the NHL” article to the drafts for a later date.  Guy lives a decent life.

And no, I’m not just saying this because he had the funniest chirp in HBO 24/7 history.

Pens would kill the last 29 seconds of the period on a Matheson penalty, setting the stage for a huge final 20 minutes.

3RD PERIOD

Pens killed the penalty, Cal Clutterbuck did Clutterbuck things, and that was the extent of the excitement through the first 10 minutes (other than Zucker and Eberle being robbed on a pair of chances around the 7 minute mark).

Speaking of getting robbed, looks like that new Bob Odenkirk revenge movie is good?  Don’t know how I’m feeling about Saul as an action star, but I’m intrigued. 

Seriously, Bob Errey might be losing it a little bit.  Went on a rant about Casey DeSmith being a psychic or something after a routine glove save.

Bob must have my computer bugged, because as soon as I typed that sentence, he made a solid joke comparing the Penguins’ clogging style to the Suez Canal.

I snapped out of a coma like Jon Snow when the Islanders pulled their goalie at the 2 minute mark (would have guessed there were 8 minutes left).  The Penguins were Islanders-ing the Islanders.

They shut it down.  Ballgame.

RANDOM NOTES:

  • Not many better things as a fan than when your team is winning games 100 different ways while dealing with a ton of injuries.  Character matters.
  • Well done to Casey The Smith to come in cold, yet look hot and sexy
  • Please tell me what you thought of the Slippery Pete / Romanov comparison on Twitter @GooeyHockey.  Personally, I feel it may be in my personal Top 3.  Not trying to brag.
  • Jankowski was a 41.67 CF% (Natural Stat Trick).  It is possible this is a high water mark since the first week of the season?
  • h/t Header Photo by Emilee Chinn/Getty Images
  • McCann is Good.

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