Gameday 44: #MoveTheSabres

Gameday 44: #MoveTheSabres

Penguins

Gameday 44: #MoveTheSabres

By

Penguins (27-13-3) vs. Sabres (11-25-7)

KeyBank Center | Buffalo, NY

Saturday, April 17 | 3:00pm Eastern

NBC

Welcome back to weekend gameday. The gameday that has to write two fucking blogs about buffalo for some reason and not even the cool animal, but the shithole in ny.

It’s hard to know what to write about the Buffalo Sabres that hasn’t already been said. They are very bad at hockey and don’t seem interested in getting better at hockey. This is compounded with being in Buffalo which is a bad place that came in dead last in the Rez Patreon (link in bio) best cities poll 3 years in a row and counting.

If you google image search “Buffalo, NY” this is 3rd result:

12 Amazing, Fun Things To Do In Buffalo, NY — Buffalo Bike Tours

They do not even want anyone to know they exist. This guy is wearing a helmet most likely because he is afraid of the many gangs of small children who pelt citizens with rocks. Buffalo is lost to a bygone time.

Weekend gameday has decided, and we take no joy in this, that we must move the Sabres. Here are some locations that would be preferable over the city of Buffalo, NY and its sewer people.

Tupelo, Mississippi

Visit Tupelo, MS - Nashville Lifestyles

Pros: Elvis was born here. No one will care about the Sabres and this will be good for the Sabres because then they can just continue to be themselves.

Cons: A shitty Van Morrison song that makes no sense.

Bakersfield, Ca

New report finds Bakersfield has 4th worst air quality in the nation | KGET 17

Pros: the Buffalo of California

Cons: the Buffalo of California

Jacksonville, Florida

5 Exciting Attractions in Jacksonville, Florida | Sun RV Resorts

Pros: Already 2 teams in Florida so they can keep a low profile. Also plenty of opportunities to do crimes to help supplement lower paid players incomes, like a signing bonus sorta.

Cons: Urban Meyer lives there now.

Lines:

Forwards

Guentzel – Crosby – Rust

McCann – Carter – Zucker

Aston-Reese – Blueger – Rodrigues

Zohorna – Jankowski – Sceviour

Defense

Dumoulin – Letang

Matheson – Ceci

Pettersson – Marino

In Net

Jarry

Sabres:

Cared GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Pens should win by at least 12 goals. Please use the hashtag #MovetheSabres but please be sure to credit me and my patreon (link in bio) directly when you do or you will be hearing from my lawyer JW Goldmann.

Go Pens

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