2011-12 Futures

The degenerate in each of us loves something to wager on. Bodog has already put out the lines on teams winning the Stanley Cup next season The best odds belong to the VAncouver Canucks at 11/2, with the longest going to the team geographically as far away as possible. The Florida Panthers are 125/1. To put this in terms non gamblers might understand… you would likely be better off putting money on the Atlanta Thrashers (Though Winnipeg is 90/1). 

That said, here are 25 lines you will only find at Barry Melrose Rocks:

NHL Edition

Jagr comes back to the NHL – 60/1

The Nordiques come back to the NHL – Off

The Sedins will outscore Crosby/Malkin – 5/3

The Ferences will outscore the Sedins – 10000/1

Games missed in Winnipeg because opponents flew to Edmonton, assuming that “Winnipeg” was just another pronunciation of Edmonton +/- 3

BMR Writers’ teams editions

Which team will finish with the best record? Wild 9/2, Islanders 5/1, Maple Leafs 600/1

How often will Wild coach Mike Yeo have his name pronounced with a fauxx Italian accent by Ryan before it gets annoying (yooooooo) +/- 5

Will Trevor Gillies do something so atrocious on the ice that it will result in jail time? Yes: 500/1

The Raptors have better attendence than the Leafs: 1000/1

One of the three teams in question will make the postseason, second round, conference finals, Stanley Cup Finals 5/1, 15/1, 30/1, 60/1

Ryan “Enforcer” Henning edition

Henning will find another joke that he will drive into the ground, a la the Sedins: 5/1

Drinking Games involving the Calgary Flames: +/- 0

There will be a glaring typo in every post: 2/7

Someone buys him a drink because “he’s that guy from Barry Melrose Rocks” – off

Writers block leads to midget hockey players videos 2/1

Loser Domi edition

 Drunken posts – +/- 10

Drunken posts lead to accidentally posting a revealing photograph of herself – 5000/1 (although I would stop by and click on our sponsors’ adds every day just in case!)

Actual sponsorship from Jameson – 200/1

Pulitzer Prize – 300/1. On a drunken post 100/1

Jonas Brothers references that Ryan doesn’t get – All of them.

Schultz edition

Posts: +/- 3

Jeremy Roenick related posts +/- 3

Cease and desist order from Mr. Roenick – 400/1

Cease and desist order from Mr. Barry Melrose – 800/1

Restraining order from John Tavares – 25/1

Of course, none of these futures are available in casinos, and gambling is bad anyways. Or something.