The Penguins were in Boston last night for the first of a quick midweek back-to-back on the road. Many were saying that this game would be a true “measuring stick” game as the Pens would match up against another top 4 team in the league. I don’t like using measuring sticks when the team is missing two defenders, but that’s just me. The Penguins didn’t have any updates for us regarding their injured players so the lineup looked identical to last game:

Ready to roll. pic.twitter.com/0ybvfNwA4e

— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 16, 2020

This team is a third center and Brian Dumoulin away from looking really sexy on paper, and they have both of those positions returning to the lineup soon.

FIRST PERIOD

The dads on the annual dad trip were barely done making dad jokes when Dominik Simon pulled up in the neutral zone in a moment of purposeful hesitation before feeding a pass to a streaking Sidney Crosby. Since the pass was perfect, Crosby didn’t break stride, entered the zone and took the first slap shot of his career to fool Halak.

SIDNEY CROSBY (7) Assisted by Simon (14) & Johnson (7) @ 0:24

AN ABSOLUTE LASER. pic.twitter.com/1NAGKEeAlz

— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 17, 2020

The pass by Simon is a play that is overlooked by the “watch the game” crowd. Simon had space in front of him to continue skating, it is not usual for a player to pull up in the neutral zone like he did. Like him or hate him, you hear his name a lot because his hockey IQ is yuge. Of course, if Simon scored more to earn his spot on the first line this goal would’ve counted as two. It as refreshing seeing Crosby fire one up like this, imagine what a goalie is thinking when they see Crosby coming down the wall alone, it’s not slap shot.

Following the goal the Penguins got in penalty trouble. The first call was on Zach Aston-Reese who skated over to say he didn’t like a hit. It was a good call in an attempt to keep the game under control, except the refs didn’t consistently make those calls making it a bad call. The Pens killed that penalty and then immediately went back on the kill when John Marino nearly killed a man. The Pens finished that kill off cleanly but lost all momentum.

10 minutes in Sean Kuraly took advantage of some poor gap control by Letang and fired one from the half-boards that deflected off Jack Johnson and in.

It's either Kuraly or Kuhlman here. Let's give them both half credit. WE ARE TIED #NHLBruins pic.twitter.com/iORbuuXMJZ

— Bruins Diehards (@BruinsDiehards) January 17, 2020

Two minutes later a guy named Par Lindholm, made it 2-1 off a cute deflection:

A Par Lindholm goal? That's pretty Kuhl, Man #NHLBruins pic.twitter.com/TdsTdr6lxb

— Bruins Diehards (@BruinsDiehards) January 17, 2020

The rest of the period was like watching a twitter argument between boomers and millennials as both teams clutched and grabbed like it was the 90s. It wasn’t exciting hockey, but a bunch of “OlD tImE hOcKeY” folks probably whacked off.

The Pens would get a powerplay 13 minutes in thanks to a Patrice Bergeron tripping penalty, but like most of the old time hockey people mentioned above, the PP was flaccid.

Stats after the 1st ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/vpPuWWaRtE

— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 17, 2020

SECOND PERIOD

The Penguins received a golden opportunity less than 2 minutes in when Chris Wagner tripped Marino. The powerplay looked like literal saggy balls and that was that. The following 17 minutes consisted of some of the sloppiest hockey the Penguins have played in the last month, which is bound to happen eventually, of course it could be because they are stoned.

Sullivan and the notoriously hard to coach Penguins have formed a strong bong. @_ShellyAnderson https://t.co/5f4bimuDjy

— Pittsburgh Hockey Now (@pghhockeyNOW) January 16, 2020

The Pens got another powerplay 9:47 in that made the Pirates look appealing. The second half of the period was a bunch of chippy stuff, Hornqvist and Torey Krug fought twice, Boston fans booed about everything, the Penguins were ready to go home. The Pens had a 2-0 in the closing seconds that resulted in Halak putting on a 2010 Canadiens jersey.

Numbers ⬇️ pic.twitter.com/wJlyDPCwBr

— Pittsburgh Penguins (@penguins) January 17, 2020

In the 12:34 of 5v5 time in the period, the Bruins had 15 scoring chances to the Penguins 4, a Corsi for percentage of 78.95%.

THIRD PERIOD

The only bright side of the second period for the Penguins was that it ended without further separation on the scoreboard. As they tried to get back to their game and erase that period from memory, the Bruins didn’t hesitate to put the thing on ice. Three minutes in Pastrnak made a ridiculous pass to Patrice Bergeron who just buried it over Murray’s glove

2⃣0⃣ for the real A$AP Berg #NHLBruins pic.twitter.com/eHktNI3RIE

— Bruins Diehards (@BruinsDiehards) January 17, 2020

Yeah, when you get beat with a pass like that you can’t be mad. Jarry playing a little deep in his crease combined with not seeing the shot get released until it was already behind Pettersson resulted in the netminder being unable to track the puck.

The goal was the nail in the coffin. The Penguins pushed back a bit, and had a marginally positive corsi percentage but Halak was Halaking them. Sullivan put Malkin and Crosby together with 5 minutes left which may be the first time he’s ever done that. It wouldn’t matter as scramble after scramble the puck just wouldn’t go in. With Jarry pulled the Bruins finished things off with an empty netter and that would do it.

GAME

Thoughts:

• These games are going to happen, and instead of wasting any energy caring today I am more excited to see how Sullivan has the team respond on Sunday
• It will be interesting to see how non-objective people are. Tristan Jarry has cooled off substantially, 6 straight games with 3 goals against, and possibly more concerning, 3 straight games with a sub .900 save percentage. Jarry is 3-2-1 in those last 6
• Jack Johnson picked up his 300th career assist in his 915th career game.
• The Pens are in Detroit tonight, forget this one and move on.