Paul Stastny Hurt, Snowblower Appointed Master of Universe

Some interesting news out of Colorado the last few days… Fantasy Hockey Legend and Master of the Universe Paul Stastny has broken his arm and will be out of service indefinitely for the Avs. The news comes as a shock all around the galaxy, as Stastny has long thought to have been indestructible.

In the short term, the Elders of the Galactic Council have appointed the snowblower that mangled Joe Sakic’s hand Interim Master of the Universe until Stastny recovers. Condolences for Stasny have poured in from across the universe, as far away as the Zorklax Galaxy and from our owm Milky Way.

Many galactic politicians fear that Master Stastny’s injury could have a disastrous effect on human-snorcon relations in the Belluo Nebula. Tensions there were already tight as peace negotiations fell through after the assassination of Snorcon leader Myylef Nuooo. Experts are afraid that the region could yet again erupt into chaos.

In an exclusive interview with CNN Universal, the snowblower that mangled Joe Sakic’s hand was very quiet about what it planned to do as Interim Master of the Universe. Then someone realized that it was not plugged in and it proceeded to attack Wolf Blitzer. _uacct = “UA-1868762-1”; urchinTracker();