For The Win

The Mets have already won the offseason.

Why? Jonathan Broxton is a Kansas City Royal.

Maybe the Mets were never the lead dog for this big dog, but any connection between the Mets and Broxton, no matter how small, was enough to bring chills up my spine. A lot of the conversation about the Royals’ $4 million contract for Broxton centered around the price. Was it too much? Does four million bucks now qualify as too much? Or is it just too much for a guy who pitched 12.2 innings last season? Can he close? Is he a setup guy? But here’s the question we’re all forgetting: “Does he suck?” The answer, as it refers to the Caucasian Benitez, is yes. If Broxton asked for a dollar a year to play for the Mets, and if he promised to cook his weight in food for the rest of the team after every game, I still wouldn’t want him near the Mets.

And don’t give me this “low-risk, high reward” crap. It’s just that, crap. If not for R.A. Dickey I’d tell you that there’s no such thing as this “low risk, high reward” theory. Low risk doesn’t mean low risk. It means cheap. High reward means “he once hit 40 home runs ten years ago.” And certainly when it comes to a closer, there is always inherent risk when you give anybody a one-run lead in the ninth, especially this guy. When Caucasian Benitez was at his best, he still spit the bit against the best teams in the league. Have we not forgotten about the not one but two NLCSes against Philadelphia where he single handedly turned 2-1 deficits into 3-1 holes? Not that the Mets will be in too many big games next year, but the bigger the game, the smaller the elephant.

More than that, could this finally be signaling the end of the signings of guys like Taylor Buchholz, Kelvim Escobar, Chris Young, and other guys who had pitched, say, three innings in the previous two years of the signing? I sure as hell hope so. Even Chris Capuano was that type of signing and what was our “high reward” from that? Watching him leave because the Mets don’t want to give him two seasons? What the hell kind of “high reward” is that? (Another reason why that phrase is a joke.) Perhaps the Mets will sign a closer who actually pitched a decent amount last season and isn’t fresh off a surgery. They have enough of those guys.

I’m very happy that this elephant with the surgically repaired elbow is in Kansas City. It’s the perfect place for a guy who wilts in the spotlight. Not that the spotlight is shining in Flushing anytime soon, but the Mets can do better, no matter the price.