The Philadelphia Phillies have received the wilted rose of Bobby Abreu, as they have signed the outfielder with the wall allergy to a minor league deal … as if he would return to baseball to play with the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs. In related news, Omar Minaya's DNA was found in Ruben Amaro's skin samples.
But the real story is who Abreu spurned to sign with the Phillies:
Bobby Abreu … nearly chose the Mets instead, according to ESPN's Jerry Crasnick." (…) "Bob Abreu was close to signing with the Mets, but still has good relations and a house in Philadelphia," Mets hitting coach Dave Hudgens, who is managing in Caracas this winter, told Venezuelan media.
Wait … the Mets were a choice? And they wanted him to … play the outfield? Give Bartolo Colon someone that can share Great Depression era stories with him? Or did WOR want him to Replace Howie Rose?
For many reasons, I'm glad this didn't happen. Besides the obvious reasons that Abreu is 39 years old, hasn't played in the majors since 2012, is afraid of walls … etc. But for the reason that I know … know … that somebody out there would have called this a good "low-risk high-reward" signing. I would have had to choke this person.
So for a change, the Phillies have caused me not to choke somebody … by signing Bobby Abreu.
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