You might be wondering what happened to us on the blog here lately. Well, Carlos has been suspended from the blog indefinitely because he posted the Rangers losing the Stanley Cup on the blog without my permission … and made me cry. As for me, I recently made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t blog again until Bartolo Colon got a hit.
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So … I’m back.
Bartolo’s double down the line led to a run courtesy of an Eric Young Jr. double, settling bar bets all over the country on whether Colon would somehow make a complete rotation around the bases without needing medical attention. Buoyed by this extreme turn of events, the Mets did something they haven’t done in fifteen years: score three runs in a game and defeat the Cardinals by a score of 3-2. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with my over-exaggerating style, fifteen years is only what it has seemed like between wins and games featuring three Mets touching home plate.) Ironic that after Terry Collins made a big deal about not batting Colon eighth on Wednesday after he batted Jon Niese and Jacob deGrom eighth in previous games, Colon goes on and becomes an offensive force with a double and two successful sacrifice bunts. It’s yet another example of how Collins has no clue about how to create a lineup and has become completely out of touch with this team. I’d fire Collins tomorrow.
(Again, this is a joke.)
Colon provided laughter and levity in a week, month and season increasingly devoid of fun, as the Mets avoided a sweep by the Cardinals be beating them 3-2 with Dana Eveland getting the save. Yup, Collins pulled closer Jenrry Mejia in the ninth inning so that lefty Eveland could face lefty Matt Adams with the game on the line. Despite the fact that lefties are hitting .290 against Eveland as opposed to .228 against Mejia, it somehow worked.
Things I wanted to blog about but didn’t over the past week were: Jesse Hahn coming up to the San Diego Padres and shutting down the Mets (I missed out on what would have been a really great Jessica Hahn joke), Daniel Murphy’s beer league softball fielding and his Lloyd Christmas-like baserunning (I’m sorry … Murphy frustrates the absolute hell out of me), and the fact that Bobby Abreu started seven straight games before Wednesday, which is just plain sad. Regardless of whether 85 other outfielders are hurt and that Abreu has actually been producing, this is still a sad state of affairs as far as I’m concerned.
But the best things I missed were Sandy Alderson telling Mets season ticket holders to ignore blogs and stay off Twitter, as if the season ticket holders are players:
“He’s (Murphy) done a nice job getting himself to the point where he plays second base as well as he does. So, you know, I haven’t been on Twitter in a long time. So I know you haven’t been reading my tweets. And I don’t think you’ve been reading them from Terry [Collins] either. So, at this point, do what I do: Ignore Twitter and try to ignore the blogosphere and have a beer when you go home tonight.”
First off, just one beer?
Second, didya see Murphy play second base on Tuesday? I needed those beers after that hell that he put Met fans through with his errors of all flavors.
Then there was Josh Thole and Jose Reyes talking about how hard it is to be New York Mets. First, Thole:
“It was there from ’09 through ’12 and it was ‘wait till next year, wait till next year. I always tell the guys: The hardest thing in the baseball world, in my opinion, is to play in New York for the Mets. No. 1, you have a bunch of young kids coming up. Every day, there’s something. A story. Everything is a story there. So you can get caught up into that quickly. It’s just a tough place to play. I would say it’s been the hardest for David. He just signed that bangin’ deal. It’s just weird.”
Then Jose, Jose Jose Jose on the aforementioned David (Wright):
“I know he’s going through some tough times right now, but he’s a veteran guy. He’s going to do what he can do on the field. (…) After a little while, you just want to win. It’s not about the money, because we are already set. We’ve got a contract and it’s now about winning. We’re not getting any younger, you know? What is he, 31? I’m 31. I want to win. So I know about that. (…) I’m tired of being in last place. I want to play meaningful games in September. The year that we went to the playoffs in 2006, oh, man, that was an unbelievable feeling. Just every game that we played, like wow, the intensity and stuff. I loved that.”
Funny, right before these quotes reached the ether, I wondered to myself if there’s a tiny part of David Wright that regrets signing that contract to stay here. Bless him for doing it. I wouldn’t have begrudged him leaving just as I didn’t begrudge Jose leaving. Now I can only go by what I see, but when I see Taylor Teagarden hit a grand slam and David Wright looking like he’s consoling Jose Valverde after another blown save, I have to wonder if every once in a while David wonders what it would be like to wear another uniform and play in front of fans whose primary purpose for being at the ballpark is to watch a ballgame.
But the best thing I missed is a report from a publication I never heard of: the Herald de Paris. This report which is disguised as speculation focuses on the Mets possibly moving to Montreal. I don’t even know which part of it to quote here, but basically the reporter’s reasoning is that the Wilpons will move the team to Montreal to return the favor that the Expos did in 1983 when they drafted Golden Sperm Wilpon and let him on the team for a week before releasing him. As fan fiction, it’s amazing. This could be an amazing screenplay which, as movies about teams moving out of New York go, would far surpass “Eddie”.
Fast forward to 2014, when the New York Mets and the Toronto Blue Jays played two exhibition games in Montreal, prior to the opening of the current baseball season. MLB executives reported to Selig the “Astonishing” attendance for the exhibition series. (…) If Selig wanted the Mets in Montreal for two games, the Mets would be there. They couldn’t say no. But they may not have denied the opportunity if they wanted to. Jeff Wilpon extolled to anyone who would listen how impressed he was with the Montreal fans. Jeff, who often says things in the media he ought not, may have tipped the family hand.
And this is the hook of the movie: The Mets somehow use an unsuspecting mole who flew up to Montreal for the two game exhibition series as their conduit to research a possible move. The fan would then blog about how much fun he had and how he hopes that Montreal would get a baseball team back.
Wait a minute … I went to Montreal. Shit.
Oh well, maybe Matt Damon could play me.
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