Animal Terrorism: Quick, Run and Hide Before the Big Ones Start Attacking

This isn’t hockey related — so don’t hate — but it’s humanity related. This is about the collective interests of the human population. Specifically, that we’re done for and the world is over so start building those bomb shelters (or if your house was built prior to 1950, you may already have one!).

By now, you’ve all probably heard about the geese that tried to take down a US Airways flight in New York City. Thankfully, the only people that died that day were the geese (and geese aren’t people, so yeah). Their attack on America was thwarted by two quick thinking pilots.

But you know all that. And if you’re like me, you probably thought it was an isolated incident.

Boy, was I wrong.

Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, it was anything but isolated. We may have suppressed Al Queda, but now we face a common enemy. And not just those VH1 reality shows. After years of oppression on the lower rungs of the food chain, the animals are fighting back.

Today, another frightening story from animal terrorists. In Jones, Oklahoma a squirrel set itself on fire and attempted to set fire to a local school. The school was spared, but five acres were burned including some trailers.

A squirrel caught fire, sparking a blaze Wednesday morning that resulted in the evacuation of an elementary school in Jones, fire officials said.

Investigators said the squirrel touched two power lines at the same time and fell to the ground near Britton and Hiawassee roads. That fire burned 5 acres in the Jones area, forcing the evacuation of the elementary school…

Several trailers burned in the fire. However, there were no known reports of injuries.

First geese and now squirrels. We can only hope lions, tigers and bears don’t join in on the action.

_uacct = “UA-1868762-1”; urchinTracker();