The first quarter of the season is over and things haven’t exactly gone to plan for the Angels, so let’s take them back to school, pull out the red pen and grade everyone’s performance from the first 40+ games of the season, this time we take the pitching staff to task.
Oh if only corporal punishment were still allowed, some of these guys deserve a good beating.
Jason Bulger: Jason is a capable student, but he needs a lot of attention. We’ve worked with him extensively to find the right kind of learning situation and think we might have finally found a workable solution where he only starts assignments from scratch rather than help finish those started by others. – Grade = C-
Brian Fuentes: Brian is testing everyone’s patience here. We have very strict rules about students taking closer courses not allowing home runs and Brian has already allowed four in very limited coursework. This behavior is totally unacceptable and must be remedied immediately. – Grade = F
Kevin Jepsen: While he isn’t the head of the class or anything, Kevin is our favorite student thus far. He doesn’t get noticed a lot despite his generally strong performance but also doesn’t need a lot of attention from the faculty either, which has been a rarity amongst the other students in the relief courses. – Grade = B
Scott Kazmir: Scott is becoming the trouble child of the class. He means well and tries hard, but he consistently fails tests and all he has to offer are excuses. This behavior cannot continue much longer otherwise we will have to consider taking disciplinary measures against Scott. – Grade = F
Matt Palmer: Did not finish the course but has a doctor’s note, excused. – Grade = INCOMPLETE
Joel Pineiro: Despite a rough patch in the middle of the quarter, Joel has really showed a great grasp for the course material this year. We though Joel would really struggle to adjust to being at a new school this year, but the transition has been fairly seamless which bodes well for his grades the rest of the quarter. – Grade = B+
Fernando Rodney: Fernando has been quite the overachiever. When he first showed up on campus, we thought he would just be an average student, but he has excelled whenever given the chance and could soon be in line for a promotion to the honors courses, with an emphasis on closing. That being said, we remain wary of Fernando’s checkered history when working in a more pressure-filled environment, so this is a decision we won’t be making hastily. – Grade = A-
Ervin Santana: While frustratingly inconsistent, Ervin has pleased the faculty more often than not. There is still some real concern about his ability to succeed in the long-term, but his performance will suffice for now. – Grade =B-
Joe Saunders: Joe did not appear ready to start the school year and that lack of preparedness was proven out in his early marks on assignments. We all enjoy having Joe around and that is why we were so glad to see the quality of his assignments improve dramatically of late. Some students are just slow starters, so hopefully Joe can continue to blossom over the rest of the academic season. – Grade = D+
Scot Shields: Even though Scot is one of the older children in the class, we have realized that he must be treated with kid gloves this year. We are sympathetic to the fact that he had to miss last year for medical reasons, but we fear that he might have rushed back. We aren’t prepared, at this point, to send Scot down a grade, but he is going to have to be coddled along for the foreseeable future and will not be allowed to play with the other children during close games. – Grade = F
Brian Stokes: Brian is new to the class, but he has not been received warmly. He has not fit in at all in with the other boys in the bullpen even though they tried very hard to make him a big part of their activities. He is currently on injury leave, but he is going to have to show signs of improvement quickly once he is healthy again, otherwise we might have to expel him. – Grade = F
Jered Weaver: High marks across the board for Jered. He has been a shining example of how all the other pitchers could perform. His new focus and competitive attitude make him an ideal role model for the rest of the class and he seems like a sure bet to be this year’s valedictorian. – Grade = A
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