This Week’s Post in Which I Chastise Steve Simmons for Being a Dick and Doing No Research Whatsoever

Isn’t this fun? It’s become a weekly ritual to break down and destroy Simmons’ arguments. Or, as I like to call them, non-sensical crazy homeless guy talk you might find in Penn Station.

I know he just says things to say them. I know even the folks in Toronto think he’s a dolt. It’s just well, take a look at today’s article and see if you can figure out why I’m pissed.

First off, writing an article whose basic premise is to that a prospect should hold out for a “better” team is good ol’ fire and brimstone talk. There have been very, very few kids — in any sport — who have done this. To think that John Tavares is one of the primadonnas, is more or less, defamation of character.

But the whole underlying tone of this article seems that Mr. Simmons would like to see Tavares in a Maple Leafs’ uni next October. Fair enough, I don’t think there’s a fanbase in the NHL that wouldn’t take him. But to throw the Islanders under the bus and say that this franchise is a waste of life — an argument that would have been correct exactly ten years ago — is asinine.

Let’s review:

– Islanders haven’t won a Stanley Cup since 1983.
– Maple Leafs haven’t won since 1967.

– Islanders haven’t raised any kind of banner since 1993.
– Maple Leafs have raised one since then — a division title in 2000.

– Both fanbases are hungry for a winning team.

So, I can’t really see anything there that would make the Leafs a better suitor than the Isles. But, Mr. Simmons would want us to believe that this somehow isn’t about the Leafs vs. the Isles, so I’ll play his little game.

If I were John Tavares, I would be clear about my future and make certain I never play for the New York Islanders.

Tavares hasn’t said that much — and quite likely he won’t.

Because he’s not an a-hole.

But if I were in his position, as the logical No. 1 pick in June’s National Hockey League entry draft, I would pull a John Elway, an Eli Manning or an Eric Lindros.

Ah, yes. The Broncos and Giants are some great hockey teams. He should certainly hold out for them. What happens in football clearly relates to hockey. Come to think of it, it’s amazing more NHL teams haven’t implemented some form of the zone blitz.

If you think about it, why would anyone with dreams and aspirations of greatness want to play for the Isles?

Yeah, you’re right. A team that has sucked for the last decade has no hope of ever becoming great. And a stud like Tavares would do nothing to help the situation. He could only make it worse.

They have become a Gertrude Stein kind of franchise: “There is no there there.” From the owner to the front office to the players to an old rink and older fan base, there is nothing about the Islanders that represents hope.

And you’re the Rick Astley of sports writers: “Accidentally famous.” Clearly, Steve, you don’t know anything about the Islanders. There’s a youth movement that is picking up steam. If you had ever visited the Coliseum, you would know the team’s fanbase is anything but old. It’s mostly families with young children. They are what’s keeping the team’s attendance higher than it’s been since before the lockout. And please, do your research and Google “Lighthouse Project.” Google “Kyle Okposo.” Google “Josh Bailey.”

And, if nothing else, that is what Tavares can best represent for an NHL team come June. If I were him, I would rather have a say in my future rather than have it dictated by circumstance, or in this case, a lottery.

It’s good to know that you think every kid that has ever been taken in the lottery era is a moron. I’m sure Crosby and Ovechkin — drafted #1 by their respective franchises when they were horrific — made grave mistakes. Remember Pittsburgh before Crosby? It looked awfully similar to Long Island.

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