Game Recap 5/21/12 — And That’s the Ballgame – Athletics 2 Angels 1

And there we go folks, this is pretty much the Angels season from here on out. Call me pessimistic but I really don’t think the Angels are showing any signs of turning it around in the near OR far future. I mean, holy hell this team couldn’t work more than 5 hits out of Milone? Really??

Jerome Williams loaded the bases TWICE against the A’s and only gave up TWO runs, and yet there’s nothing this offense can do to back him up?? No way this is happening for realises. I must be stuck in some coma nightmare, most likely caused by brain trauma due to me bashing my head against the ceiling from jumping like a madman after realizing the Angels signed Pujols. Yup, that’s gotta be the case! No other logical explanation behind this unforeseeable tragedy.

At least we can all thank Daric Barton, who probably felt so bad for this team he intentionally botched that shallow pop-up, therefore gifting us a pity run so we wouldn’t feel historically bad about our team. It didn’t help much but whatever, maybe now we should all just jump shit to Dodgertown??

Hahaha guys, I’m just kidding. It was a joke

Please put down the pitchforks now…

Athletics 2 Angels 1

So what would you guys rather hear, a bunch of bad jokes or me just repeat to you the horrors of this game you already witnessed?? Bad jokes huh? 

Well they can’t be any worse then this Angels team! 

Game Recap

• What do you get when you cross the best player in baseball, a beloved franchise, and one of the most potentially dynamic offenses in baseball??? 25 losses and last place in the AL West? Wait….that’s not funny at all…

• Well you know what isn’t so depressing? Albert Pujols got a hit today! Wooooo!!! Now he’s batting…let’s see, .212??? Well that can’t be right, we’re paying him $250 million, correct? Oh, boy…this is going to be a fun season to watch, if you enjoy things like self-harm and sadist pleasures. That happens to be right up my alley actually, maybe I will enjoy this season after all!

• AL Comeback Player of the Year candidate Jerome Williams pitched a fantastically mediocre yet somehow strong game. I don’t know how that should be possible, but he managed to make it through 6 innings of baseball by giving up 5 walks and 5 hits in 110 pitches while giving up only 2 runs. Geez, maybe this guy deserved a lot better than the loss he was so graciously spoon-fed by his anemic offense today. Well at least he isn’t Dan Haren, that’s always a good thing when you’re asking this offense to back you up.

• What do you get when you take a chicken, a large road, and the intent to cross it? Nothing. Nothing at all. That joke is stupid and this team sucks. 

Halo A-Hole

Maybe….maybe at this point it’s us guys. All this negative energy we’re creating, it’s just harshing this teams positive chakras maannnnn. Before we go and judge them we should look deep within our spiritual animal guides and ask them “Is all this ugly energy we’re birthing through our soulwaves really worth it?” 

Jesus Christ you hippies yes it is! WE HAVE ALBERT PUJOLS AND WE CAN’T WIN AND FREAKING BALLGAMES! 

Excuse me while I go suck down enough extra-drowsy Nyquil to knock me out until the Angels win enough games to make it into the postseason. If it takes about 95 wins to make it into the 2012 postseason….by my calculations we should have those wins by 2015!

See you then!