Angels vs. Mariners Series Preview: Predict this!

The first series of the season is here! Angels vs. Mariners! I can’t wait! I’m so excited. I-  I-  I gotta dance!

That was fun. You know what else is fun? Me changing the Series preview format again. The old format still didn’t do it for me and it still didn’t really get people reading. So, screw it. I’m just going to have fun with it. Yes, this might turn out horribly and I might change the format all over again in a week or a month or whatever. The point is… well, I don’t know what it is, I just felt like doing it this way.

One of these years I’ll figure it out. Anywho, on to the preview!

LAST TIME ON ANGELS VS. MARINERS…
The last time these teams met was the final regular season series of 2014. It was also in Seattle and the Mariners ended up sweeping the Angels. However, the games were meaningless to the Halos and very meaningful to Seattle. They needed those wins to have a shot at a playoff berth which they ultimately didn’t get. I consider that a moral victory!

THE NARRATIVE
Storylines don’t get much easier than this. The Angels are the defending AL West champions and the Seattle Mariners are the new darling of the baseball world. Based on all of the pre-season predictions, you’d expect the Angels to be greeted by a funeral dirge while the Mariners will enter the stadium to fanfare and a parade.

As a result, way too much is going to be made of this one series. If the Mariners win, many a eulogy will be written about the 2015 Angels just three games into the season. That, of course, completely overlooks the fact that the Mariners swept the Angels to start last season yet things worked out just fine for the Halos. There will probably be some level of overreaction the other way too if the Angels win the series, but in the wake of the Hamilton nonsense, I suspect everyone is eagerly awaiting an opportunity to bury the Angels. It is just going to be the worst.

THE MATCH-UPS
MONDAY, 4/6: Jered Weaver vs. Felix Hernandez
Oh, good, what better way than to start the season against arguably the best pitcher in the American League. With so many folks predicting that the Angels lineup will crater without Kendrick and Hamilton (but let’s be honest, mostly Kendrick), the last thing the Angels need is to be forced to kneel before the King in the first game of the season.

The Angels get to start Weaver as their nominal ace, but we all know he isn’t a real ace anymore. But let’s pretend like this is still a marquee matchup because it makes us feel better about the Angels’ chances. None of us really want to consider what it would mean to the rotation if Weaver loses more velocity and just keeps getting worse. Just imagine what would happen if Richards isn’t 100% when he returns or if Wilson stinks again or if Shoemaker regresses or Santiag- OH GOD WE’RE ALL DOOMED!

TUESDAY, 4/7: C.J. Wilson vs. James Paxton
I’m actually going to this game with some friends who are Mariners fans. They are going to ask me a bunch if I think this is going to be Seattle’s year. It could very well be, but I can’t in good conscience admit that to them, right?

The again, C.J. Wilson is pitching in this game and as much as Scioscia says he is all fixed, I’m not convinced. I might need some support, especially since James Paxton is an Angels-killer in the making.

WEDNESDAY, 4/8: Matt Shoemaker vs. Hisashi Iwakuma
Oh, great, Iwakuma, another Angels-killer. I’m suddenly starting to understand why so many people think the Mariners are going to win the division. I’m already regretting my own predictions for the season.

Another case where we don’t want predictions to come true. Matt Shoemaker will get his first start of the season with everyone anxiously watching to see if he turns back into a pumpkin now that he’s been through the league once and shown everyone what he does. Why can’t we all just enjoy Shoemaker? Why do we have to shit all over everything he did last year? Just enjoy it and leave the poor man alone. If he sucks, then you can shit on him again.

As for the series as a whole, the usual MWAH coverage will be intact. There will be boxscore breakdowns the morning after each game and follow me on Twitter for more of my clearly amazing sense of humor and keen insight.

OFFICIAL PREDICTION
The Angels have been making slow starts an annual tradition of late, but I think they break it this season. They will drop the Opening Day game, if only to give the M’s a false sense of confidence, but then they will take the next two and all will once again be right with the world.

Remember, I’m really good at this prediction thing, but don’t bother looking back at the results from last season. Just take my word for it.
UNOFFICIAL PREDICTION (so don’t hold me to it)
I like my odds on this one. I’m going to go ahead and say that in the first Angels broadcast of the season, Arte Moreno will join the TV booth to address the Josh Hamilton saga only to say something else incredibly insensitive and ignite the drama anew.