Angels vs. Rockies Series Preview: Precious CarGo

The Rockies are coming to town and bringing some precious cargo with them in the form of Carlos “CarGo” Gonzalez. See what I did there? You see what I did there.

Normally, playing the Rockies isn’t really worth noting, but bloggers, fans and reporters across the land have all come to the same conclusion that CarGo would sure be a logical fit for the Angels in their suddenly vacant left field. Well, the CarGo of 2012 would. The CarGo of 2015 hasn’t been good in two-plus seasons and can’t stay healthy since ever. He’s also really expensive, so… Oh, I get it now, that probably makes him an even better “fit” for the Halos who can’t seem to stop collecting washed up, wildly overpaid left fielders.

But maybe Gonzalez isn’t washed up? Maybe he’s still young enough, just 29 years old, to bounce back with a change of scenery away from the baseball purgatory that is Denver. Or maybe he’s just a guy who used to be incredible but now is just blooper reel incarnate.

LAST TIME ON ANGELS VS. ROCKIES…
The Angels facing the Rockies is historically a good thing. The teams have played each other 28 times in history with the Angels winning 20 of those contests. The Halos are currently riding a five-game winning streak over the Rox, including a sweep in 2012, which was the last time these two met. None of that actually matters as the rosters are dramatically different now, but I really dislike the Rockies, so I just like to write about how much they stink.

THE MATCH-UPS
TUESDAY, 5/12: C.J. Wilson vs. Kyle Kendrick
Kyle Kendrick might be the worst starting pitcher in baseball. That isn’t a Coors Field thing either, he’s terrible any place where there is a pitching mound. Altitude doesn’t matter. He could be pitching at the bottom of the Marianas Trench and he’d find a way to give up a grand slam to a goblin shark. The point I’m getting at is that the Angels better put up a bunch of runs in this game because Kyle Kendrick is just the worst.

WEDNESDAY, 5/13: Hector Santiago vs. Jordan Lyles
I’m still waiting for the wheels to come off on Santiago. That strand rate has to crater sooner or later. I’m guess more on the later side though because this Rockies team plays right into his hands. They have the lowest walk rate in the league, are one of the worst teams in the league against lefties and generally can’t hit away from Coors. Hector probably can’t wait to face these guys.

OFFICIAL PREDICTION
The Rockies are bad at baseball. They baseball poorly. The Angels aren’t great right now, but they at least have a general idea of how to baseball. They will out-baseball the Rockies and earn a two-game mini-sweep.

UNOFFICIAL PREDICTION (so don’t hold me to it)
Two months from today Arte Moreno will march into Jerry Dipoto‘s office and force Jerry to trade Victor Alcantara, C.J. Cron and Nate Smith to Colorado for Carlos Gonzalez and his entire contract. Dipoto will ask him why. Arte will tell him why.