Jeremy “Golf Snob” Roenick Buys Country Club

Jeremy We haven’t heard a lot from our good buddy JR lately. He’s been out most of the year with a shoulder injury while the Sharks struggle to find a way to go on without him. I hear they’re in danger of missing out on home ice throughout the Western Conference playoffs. That’s nice. I’m sure this Western Conference is a good little hockey league, wherever it is.

/East coast bias’d

Anyway, JR has been no slouch despite the injury and has been traveling with the team, including a recent trip to Boston. What did he do while he was there? He did what any white, old, rich man does. He bought a country club of course! Actually there’s a bit more to it than that. This course — Pembroke Country Club in Pembroke, MA– was a course JR played as a kid and has very fond memories of. Such a tough upbringing that must have been.

The course was going broke, as evidence in the name Pembroke, and Roenick swooped in and bought it up. Luckily, Mrs. JR was there to give it the green light.

Roenick acted quickly upon learning that the bank that had taken control of Pembroke CC was trying to sell it.

“Fortunately, my wife (Tracy, who grew up in Canton) was with me on that trip to Boston,” Roenick said. “When we heard Pembroke was for sale, she got in a car and drove right down to take a look.”

But the most interesting quote from the article is the following. Apparently, JR is that guy. You know, the one who bitches and moans about how someone walked through the bunker and didn’t rake it or complains about all the youngins with no respect for the game out on the course. Hey, not my words. It’s straight from JR.

“I’m such a crazy, avid golfer,” Roenick said. “And I call myself a golf snob. When I play a course, I want it to be pristine — really nice greens, a pretty, well-kept course, a place where I can really enjoy everything about a round.”

OK, maybe it was my words, kind of. But he’s the one who said ‘snob’.

JR is already going to work on the club by bringing in a groundskeeper, club pro and caterers. What wasn’t mentioned in the article — and something the staff here agrees on — is that the club will likely be getting an attitude adjustment. Here’s some suggestions. JR, you can thank us in the comments.

  • If you don’t come in under par on the 7th, you get a puck to the face.
  • It’s one of the more affordable clubs, as you can let JR punch you in the face in lieu of money.
  • Pants are optional, especially for the ladies.
  • Every night is ladies’ night at the club’s bar.
  • Dance lessons on Wednesday nights from The Man Himself.
  • Acting lessons by request.
  • Swimming pool is now ‘top-tional’.
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