The Bearcats are on a bye this week. I sent some questions out to someone to be a filler piece while I write the piece for tomorrow. But, they haven’t answered yet. That has me a little worried. Chances are, the person will write back while I’m writing this, and you’ll get back to back posts in under an hour. I’m not entirely sure, but I think that’s how blogging is supposed to work. Does that mean I’m doing it wrong? Yes. That was probably a bad confession to make. I have really been behind things this week. You might have noticed, what with all the posts going up in the middle of the afternoon instead of the early morning. That will change for tomorrow’s post, which will be up bright and early. The Big East power poll or whatever that no one missed this week will also be back next week. It will be a more general thing because there were only 2 games this week. I really didn’t want to have nothing to say about half the conference next week. Looking at the schedule, it’s incredibly odd that the biggest game of the week is Louisville at Syracuse. The game means so much to the Orange, and quite a bit to the Cardinals chances of getting bowl eligible.
Wanna hear something crazy? The Big East is one of two conferences without a bowl eligible team. The other is the Sun Belt. If Syracuse loses to Louisville, that will extend to next week. The Sun Belt is the worst conference in America if you didn’t know. The WAC has 3 bowl eligible teams, the MAC has 4!, the SEC 6, the Mountain West 3, and the ACC, which everyone has said is about as shitty as the Big East, but obviously not, has 4. The reason for this is that the Big East straight up did not get it done non conference. Pittsburgh lost 3 of their games, as did Cincinnati, while Louisville and Rutgers lost 2. That’s Sun Belt-esque. It’s also Kafkaesque. You don’t have to look it up, I used it right.
I got the idea to use Kafkaesque from the program Breaking Bad. If you haven’t seen Breaking Bad, you are missing out on a key part of life. Byran Cranston from Malcolm in the Middle is the star, and he’s amazing. Aaron Paul, who was probably in some stuff, plays the second lead, and he kicks all sorts of ass. It’s definitely worth tracking down on DVD.
That last paragraph was a paid advertisement from AMC. I’ll take all the money I made from that, and we can have an ice cream social. It’s getting a little too cold for that in most of the country, so the logical choice is to have the affair take place in South Padre Island. I have no idea where the hell South Padre Island is, but like you, I know it’s where girls go wild. Hence the ice cream social. The ladies love ice cream. They scream for it. We all scream for it. Just think, on SPI, the girls go crazy on spring break for the beads. Those are lame ass beads that have no value in the real world. Yet, the girls flash their girl parts so strangers can throw beads at them. Now imagine what a girl would do if a group of people were throwing ice cream sandwiches at her face? Actually, you stop imagining that right now. That’s very disrespectful of you. That’s someone’s daughter.
The “that’s someone’s daughter,” argument against strippers, and girls gone wild, and prostitutes and porn stars and insert weird profession, is a quite flimsy one. I mean, do you say that about murderers? The Manson family were someone’s daughters, but no one said “poor girls, they were someone’s daughters.” No, they said “holy shit, them bitches be cray-zay.” Yeah, they talked like that in the ’70s. I know the murders happened in the ’60s, but people didn’t say cray-zay until the 70s. Obviously your school didn’t teach you that. For shame. Did you know that Charles Manson was born in Cincinnati? If you are reading this in Cincinnati, he lived in your house. I wonder if people would voluntarily move into the Manson house. People voluntarily moved into the Amityville house, so I think they would. I mean people live in the house in Fairfield where that dude went crazy on his family at Easter. That’s someone’s daughter who lives in that house. That means that she is pretty fucking crazy. She doesn’t have to be a stripper to be someone who has life decisions that we all question. If I found out someone was murdered in my house, I would sleep in my car. If I found out someone was murdered in my car, the car would probably try to kill me. Sleeping in the car would be a terrible strategy in that scenario. Well, just having the car would be terrible in that scenario, I mean, the car is going to kill you no matter what. Even if you crush it, it will come back to life eventually. And once again, someone’s daughter will drive that car. No one says that uptight bias are someone’s daughter. People should say that because they are more of a problem than the strippers. At least they do something that weird old men enjoy. Plus, they keep drug dealers in business. All the uptight people do are bring the rest of us down. And they are your tea partiers, your greenpeace idiots who you want you sign stuff, they are the other political groups that do things that you can’t stand.
Let’s talk about the elections for a minute. I have no problem with voting. What I have a problem with is everyone saying to the world that they voted. When you ask who they voted for, they say stupid shit like “oh, that’s private.” Bull fucking shit it’s private. You are flaunting to the world that you voted, so obviously you want the fact to be known. Why not say who you voted for, and what you voted for? That seems like the only fair thing to do. I mean, if you are going to annoy me on facebook and twitter with the fact that you voted, you should give all the rest of the info so we have something to talk about. I know that people hate political talk. That’s because no one knows how to talk. It’s never something like “I don’t think Obama is doing the best job,” “Well Mark, let’s take a look at the good things he’s done.” “Ok Steve, I’ll do just that, and we can discuss the merits of the programs.” “Sounds like a plan, I’m sure there will be things that even I don’t agree with.” It’s never that. It’s this. “OBAMA IS A COMMUNIST!!! WHERE IS HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE?!?!?!?” “OBAMA WOULDN’T BE IN THIS SITUATION IF GEORGE BUSH DIDN’T STEAL THE ELECTION AND PUT THE COUNTRY IN THE MESS WE ARE IN!!! SARAH PALIN ISN’T THAT GOOD LOOKING!!” And it is in all caps because everyone talks in all caps about politics. I watched election coverage at the top of the hour when they actually gave out the info, because I wasn’t sitting through all the jagoffs talking about god knows what that doesn’t matter. And of course, the only person who seemed to have no agenda was Tim Russert, and he’s dead. Also, when you talk politics, someone will always think they are Bill O’Reilly and tell you why everything you say is fucking wrong. It’s never in a gentle way, it’s always in a you are inferior in this discussion type ways. These are the same people that will bring up a third thing to make their point, and you start talking about the third thing, only for them to say it’s not about that, it’s about this. Hey there Johnny, you were the one who brought that up in the first place. I can talk about it too. God forbid you bring in a third thing in your point, the eyeballs fly out of skulls.
How we ended up with such a weird blog post when I started talking about the Big East, I don’t know. I will blame this on not falling asleep until like 3, and then waking up at 6 and not falling asleep until like 8 and then waking up at like 12. 30. Ish. Mythbusters did the myth of if you were worse at driving if you were buzzed or tired, and tired was more dangerous. I also think that it’s more dangerous while doing blog posts. Good thing that Dan Hoard will not be reading the blog today.
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