Requiem for the Hurricanes

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to pay our respects to the Unstoppable Force That is Dave McBrayer’s Hurricanes. Today, Dave is probably waking up with a hangover both metaphorical and physical after sitting in the second row behind the Penguins bench for Game 4 presumably yelling obscenities in Russian at Evgeni Malkin. This week, Ric Flair will have nothing to do after taping his next WWE evvent. Bill Cowher can no longer take a stand against his former city and — most importantly — the Storm Squad will now have to return to their jobs at the local college/Hooters/Strip Club. That, my friends, is the real tradgedy here. 

But as the Carolinas wake up today, we thank them for what was a great run. Sadly, it will not end with a banner raising of any kind (unless they make one reading “2008-09: Won Almost Won Something”). No, it will not end with the #1 pick in next month’s draft. It will likely not end with a new GM, giving hope to a fanbase that had become increasingly frustrated with the Old Guard. Nor will it do whatever it is they’re doing in Toronto right now (body shots off of Carlton Bear?). 

So you can take solace in that, Carolina. That you almost did something. And that’s better than not almost doing anything at all.