It’s ‘Stupid Season’ Time In The NFL

The NFL’s stupid season is upon us. If you’re an NFL coach, general manager or owner, this is the time of year you fear the most. The four or five weeks between the close of your final offseason mini-camp and the start of training camp at the end of July is crazy time. It’s when your players and coaches are on their own. The reins are off.

Management-types get nervous when their coaches and players are let loose on the world without a rigorous, on-campus schedule. Funny thing about that—coaches, players and even owners manage to get into enough trouble even when they are on company time.

Don’t do anything stupid

There are, no doubt, many messages 32 NFL head coaches imparted to their 90-man rosters as they broke their final mini-camps. If their charges only remember one message, they hope it’s “Don’t do anything stupid.” Recent history shows us that such concerns are not unfounded. To wit — one year ago, the NFL was dealing with these headlines:

• (Former) New England Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested June 26 on suspicion of murder. He was accused of murdering his associate, Odin Lloyd, on June 17, possibly in connection to an unsolved 2012 double murder that Hernandez subsequently was charged with. The NFL may actually have had its first serial killer. Or rather, they did — The Patriots released Hernandez upon arrest.
• San Francisco 49ers linebacker Ahmad Brooks was accused of viciously assaulting a teammate on June 8. Prosecutors sought an arrest warrant on a “felony assault with great bodily injury” charge.
• (Former) Cleveland Browns rookie linebacker Ausar Walcott was arrested for attempted murder for an incident on June 23. The Browns released Walcott upon arrest.
• Indianapolis Colts safety Joe Lefeged was arrested in Washington, D.C. for possession of an unregistered gun on June 29.
• Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jason Peters was arrested on June 12 for drag racing and fleeing police.
• Cincinnati Bengals cornerback Adam Jones was charged with assault on June 10. This charge was only the latest in a long litany of charges against the former “Pacman” Jones.

Ah, the not-so-good old days of yesteryear.

This year is different, right?

One can hope. However, the hits are coming and are likely to keep on coming. Here’s a round-up of NFL arrests so far in 2014. It’s not all of them, because, well, we don’t have that much time. These are just the highlights, in reverse chronological order:

• On June 20, Chicago Bears defensive end Cornelius Washington was arrested for speeding and driving on a suspended license.
• On June 9, Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Sean Smith was cited for a DUI and careless driving.
• Apparently modeling his behavior on Peters, Buffalo Bills defensive tackle Marcell Dareus was arrested on May 30 with multiple counts of offenses related to illegal car racing. Remember Dareus. He’s not done making headlines.
• On May 13, Carolina Panthers defensive end Greg Hardy was arrested for suspicion of domestic violence. He goes to trial on July 15.
• Going for some kind of chucklehead record, Bills defensive tackle Dareus was arrested for possession of synthetic marijuana on May 5.
• In perhaps the most bizarre legal transgression of the year, oft-troubled San Francisco 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith got himself arrested on April 13 for claiming he had a bomb at an airport security checkpoint. Reports noted that this wasn’t even the weirdest thing he said during the incident.
• On March 28, Smith’s 49ers teammate, cornerback Chris Culliver, was charged with felony hit and run, misdemeanor reckless driving and felony possession of brass knuckles.
• Indianapolis Colts owner Jim Irsay sunk to a new low on March 16. He was arrested for DUI and four counts of possession of a controlled substance. Felonies are not just for players.
• On February 14, Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice celebrated Valentine’s Day by getting arrested for assaulting his (then) fiancée. You may have seen the video—millions did. The NFL must be so proud. Rice and his (now) wife met with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell earlier this month in an effort to show the league that it’s all good now.

While all of these recent transgressions can be filed under “inexplicably stupid,” “highly dangerous” and “completely preventable, you #$%^ing genius,” they still happen — month after month; year after year. While it would be nice to believe that the well-paid, privileged professionals plying their trades in the NFL can uphold the norms of society, history tells us it is not so. In fact, despite the myriad evidence and warnings proffered by coaches, media, management, law enforcement, etc., statistics indicate more arrests are headed the NFL’s way during their stupid season. In other words, they’re a lot like us. At least in one regard.

Place your bets, folks

The Seattle Seahawks have remained off the list so far this year. If your team didn’t make the list … just give them a little time. Let’s not forget, right now, things are looking up. No current players are on trial for murder.

But the coaches know something’s gonna happen. What, where and when are just details. It’s the “who” they care about. You just don’t want it to be your guy. Names will be added to the list of shame before training camps start. Who do you think it’s going to be?