Abe Asher’s College Football Picks – Week Six

Week six of the college football season is upon us, and I’m still waiting to get into a groove with my picks.

I went 9-3 last week, but that solid mark was overshadowed by one of my first introductory sentences reading, “We’ve gotten Jameis Winston being turning into a Kardashian.”

I also took Cincinnati over Ohio State, a pick so idiotic and humiliating that I almost considered taking a week off from the picks.

But I’m sticking it out, in part because I asked for a great week of college football last weekend, and college football delivered. Yeah, the A&M – Arkansas game was fantastic, and the South Carolina – Missouri and Washington – Stanford games were proper conference nail-biters, but how about that Colorado – Cal game!?

That’s right, it finished 59-56 Cal in double overtime and was the first ever college football game in which both quarterbacks threw for seven touchdowns. And this week is going to be even better. So I’m climbing back into the saddle for the week six picks.

Mississippi State 34, Texas A&M 31 – Nothing says, “The SEC still rules so enjoy its reign” like this being the best game of the day.

Tennessee 34, Florida 14 – And nothing says, “The SEC is beatable and its doom is imminent” like the fact that this game is still being played every year.

Ohio State 45, Maryland 21 – Awful as it is, Columbus has just as many major pro sports teams as Portland.

Ole Miss 31, Alabama 30 – Once you pick Cincinnati over Ohio State, you’re free! Nothing you say will look stupid ever again! Hotty Tottie, Go Rebs!

Oklahoma 44, TCU 17 – Quick, OU, hire Mark Stoops before he wins a few more games at Kentucky at gets a real job so we can have a show called Boomer Sooner and the Three Stoopses.

Baylor 38, Texas 10 – Seriously, does anyone even play for Texas anymore?

Stanford 20, Notre Dame 17 – At least the Irish will always have Jed Bartlet.

Oregon State 42, Colorado 31 – The Buffs’ best receiver is named Nelson Spruce. I think this places right into the Beavers’ hands.

Auburn 34, LSU 24 – The NFL will never be as good as college football, because the SEC isn’t in the NFL. This is the third must-watch SEC game of the day.

Kansas State 44, Texas Tech 30 – Unquestionably the best story of this year has been the Big XII telling 74-year-old Bill Snyder to stop wearing his old bowl game jackets on the sideline. You can’t make this stuff up.

Arizona State 45, USC 38 – USC, a fraud? No, never!

South Carolina 31, Kentucky 17 – This is a classy picks column – I only pick the best games. And I’ve now picked games involving ten SEC teams. And two other teams in this conference is on a buy this week.

Michigan State 34, Nebraska 27 – Instead of picking this game between a couple of clubs from a minor conference like the B1G, let’s just admire the SEC for a while longer.