Sports And Parenting

6

A recent Sports Illustrated cover showed a man calling himself Wilt Chamberlain’s son. Why on the cover and why Wilt?

The Big Dipper is called the most transformative athlete in basketball, maybe all sports. But he’s dead. Been dead a while. Why drag up the past?

I read the story from a father’s perspective. Something happens between the positive pregnancy test and the delivery room with dads. The ones who stay on the job of parenting their kids see the man who looks like Wilt and know his life would have been different if he had had his father.

Instead he was put up for adoption and found a home with a family in Eugene, Oregon. Who got divorced when he was young.

If you know kids of divorce, then you know the hole that blows in their life. Adopted kids of divorced parents must have an exponent attached to those feelings.

Self worth? Self esteem? Belonging somewhere? That’s so much to work through. Whether you date on the Wilt program and establish a lifetime mark for partners or not, consider this: there are consequences to your actions you should not ignore. Call it joining the human race.

From famous athletes marking their score card each week, to the man married to their one true love, the common denominators are women and children. Wilt said he didn’t have any kids. No ‘little Wilties’ out there for him. That was his story and he stuck to it. And he was probably wrong.

Unless you’ve been married more often that you can remember and fathered too many kids with too many birthdays to log into your calendar, women and children have a special place in your heart.

Babies grow up to become their own person. You did it, I did it, but at first a baby is all yours. You do everything you can for them. Hungry? Feed them. Cold? Warm them up with a snuggle. Cranky? Walk them in your arms. Rock them.

Wilt Chamberlain tarnished his greatness with neglect and ignorance. Moving from one night stand to one night stand isn’t a sign of anything but selfishness and insecurity.

A shallow man finds himself out of his depth when confronted by strong women who stand up or themselves. A shrinking man gets smaller when they can’t answer a woman’s question coming out of the obstetrician’s office, “What do we do now?”

Wilt’s son got a boost from growing up in Oregon. There are far worse places to live than Eugene and far worse schools than South Eugene. What could be worse than finding your mother and traveling to England to visit only to learn that she doesn’t want to introduce you to her family?

What’s worse than contacting your father’s family to learn that they didn’t want to know about you, don’t want further contact, and refuse to acknowledge your existence?

For all of the ladies men at the club, the smooth operators planning their next highlight; for all the Tiger Woods and Shawn Kemps and Evander Holyfields; for all the players playing the game on one side of the ball, remember this: When you get a knock on the door and person knocking looks too much like you to ignore, it’s a new game.

Wilt Chamberlain is the biggest loser to never answer the door. The sweet little English birth mother who refused to open up her family for the son she put up for adoption? Shame on you, ma’am. To Wilt’s sisters protecting his legacy? You need a new dictionary to find the meaning of legacy.

A final hope: When you’re out having the time of your life on the greatest day you’ve ever lived, compare it to other days almost as special and be thankful you have someone to share with. So share, don’t run away.

Wilt’s kid, along with everyone else who’s faced the locked door of family selfishness, will never have that day.

For you expecting parent, and parents of young children and old, tell them how important they are. Show them they matter. Then roll the ball out. It’s never too soon.

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