Over the course of the summer, this series will be taking a look at some of the key storylines surrounding the Portland Trail Blazers this offseason and how they might go about navigating them as they attempt to move towards the head of the NBA class.
This week’s class:
Psychology 112 – The Five Stages of Basketball Grief
In 1969, when psychologist Elisabeth Kϋbler-Ross introduced the five emotional stages of grief in order to help explain how people dealt with the death of a loved one, it’s safe to say that she never thought her work would be referenced in the mostly frivolous world of professional sports (not to mention this silly little column). Her work dealt with some of life’s most traumatic moments, while sports is often our way to escape these moments.
Yet, in order to fully allow ourselves that mental escape, we must sometimes pretend that the world of sport rises to the same level of importance as life and death. And, in that skewed context, the closest parallel to a traumatic death of a loved one is seeing one of your favorite teams suddenly and unceremoniously being dismantled in the span of just a few days.
With that in mind, let’s take a journey into the sorta, maybe something similar to semi-autobiographical thoughts of a Blazermaniac over the traumatizing last few weeks through the lens of the Kϋbler-Ross model. We’ll even through a little analysis at the end of each thought, because this is Blazer Summer School, and we’re smart like that.
Stage 1: Denial
“This is gonna be a big offseason in Rip City. LaMarcus is going to look around a little, but, there is no way that he signs with anyone other than the Blazers. Sure, he’ll visit other teams. Dallas is his hometown, the Spurs have a great winning tradition and his childhood idol recruiting him, and there’s always the sleeping giants in New York and Los Angeles. But, he’s a Blazer now. He even said he wants to be the best Blazer ever. He’s a man of loyalty, and while it may have taken a few years to warm up to the Northwest, it’s his home now.
If anything, he’s just going to be leading teams on in order to help the Blazers gain an advantage in free agency. He’ll distract other teams by making them believe they have a chance at signing the 4-time All-Star, while Neil Olshey is busy out scooping up another big-time impact player with all this newfound cap space. Then, to top it off, Neil Olshey will burn a few piles of Paul Allen’s cash in order to bring back Wes and RoLo and lock up a perennial contender for the next half decade. From there, it’s simply a matter of sitting back and watching the championships pile up!”
Analysis: This is classic denial in the form of cognitive dissonance. Ignoring copious amounts of contradicting evidence to blindly reinforce your own previously held beliefs. This is a very commonplace affliction in the world of sports.
Stage 2: Anger
“Wait, the LAKERS are now legitimately in the mix?!!? If that’s what he wants, then we don’t even want him on the team. I used to think LaMarcus could lead us to a championship, but, it’s now clear that he’s just a mentally weak version of Dwight Howard! All he cares about is getting his ego stroked and getting told he’s the best. Winning be damned. We had something special going here, and he’s perfectly fine throwing it all down the drain. L-O-S-E-R!
Not only that, but just last year that #^&#%*$ said he wanted to be the ’best Blazer ever’. Instead he’s a on the verge of becoming the biggest traitor ever! I’ll typically cheer for former Blazers when they come back to Portland in another jersey, but, you’ve gone too far, LaMarcus! Consider your ‘DQ’ glass shattered, your bobble-head decapitated and your jersey barbequed. I’m done with you. You’re no longer a ‘real’ Blazer!”
Analysis: Ah, the old fashioned temper-tantrum. Not much analysis needed here. Things aren’t going my way, so I’m gonna take out my anger on anyone and everyone around me. At this stage, no one is safe from the fury, not even one of the top players in franchise history.
Stage 3: Bargaining
“OK, I may have overacted a touch. This may be painful right now, but us Blazer fans are a classy bunch. Just as long as he doesn’t end up a Laker (and we know that’s not happening!), I’ll be able to handle it. Please Basketball Gods, don’t let him go to the Lakers. I promise I’ll be classy and mature and not do anything rash … as long as you just please, please, please don’t let him ever put on that disgusting yellow and purple jersey. I promise, I’ll never ask for anything ever again for the rest of my life!”
Analysis: This is where the crazy sports fan truly starts coming out. This may seem like a fan just hoping that the very worst scenario doesn’t come to fruition, but, in reality, this is a last ditch effort for basketball karma in the form of the classic reverse jinx: ‘Maybe, just maybe, if I say I’m ok with the him leaving, the Basketball Gods will look down on my good sportsmanship with a last minute karmic miracle!’
Stage 4: Depression
“[Sigh] He’s gone. There’s just too many signs pointing away from Rip City and basically nothing pointing towards it. It’s over. One of my favorite teams of all time has just been nuked. LaMarcus is a Spur. Wes is a Mav. Nico is in basketball purgatory in Charlotte. Heck, even RoLo jumped ship to that trainwreck in Manhattan. Talk about embarrassing!
Seriously, I don’t even think I can watch sports anymore. That may sound ridiculous, but, after all the excitement of the past two years, I don’t think I can take another run of 30 win seasons. You can only take so many stomach punches as a sports fan before you just collapse and give in. This was it for my Blazer fandom. It was a fun ride while it lasted, but, dammit I’m not gonna to put myself through this kind of emotional rollercoaster again. I’m done.”
Analysis: This is where it all hits you. The low of all lows. The low that’s so far down there that you can’t imagine ever coming back up. The last bit of hope [denial] leaves you and the reality of the situation really starts to sink in. The stomach punch just landed, and all you want to do is curl up into a ball and cry.
Stage 5: Acceptance
“Well, damn. This is gonna be a rough couple years. But, we still got Damian Lillard and while the team may be short on talent, they are stocked full of athleticism and potential. They might not make the playoffs (or even win 30 games), but they’ll be fun to watch. Plus, it’ll be exciting to see guys like CJ McCollum and Meyers Leonard get consistent run, and get to see them develop into (hopefully) top flight NBA players.
That’s not even mentioning all the fun new toys Olshey was able to scoop up along the way, like Mason Plumlee, Noah Vonleh, Al-Farouq Aminu, Mo Harkless, Ed Davis … heck, it’s basically a whole new team! While that may not be a lineup built for delivering heart pounding NBA action deep into the playoffs, it’s a great team for a basketball junkie who loves learning all the intricacies of each new players game and watching the next generation of young talent take over the team.
And, let’s be real here. It was so much fun seeing this last group of players come together and form such a beautiful, cohesive unit. Who wouldn’t want to do that all over again?!”
Analysis: Reality sets in. Your loved one is gone. No matter what you say or do, things aren’t going to change. But remember, at the end of the day, you’re still Blazermaniacs for a reason: it’s in your blood, it’s bigger than one player and it ain’t going away any time soon.
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