My last week was pretty much the most inept series of picks in the history of this column. It was filled with gems such as, “Alabama 34, Ole Miss 31 – This game becomes approximately 732,000 times less fun when it’s in Tuscaloosa and Ole Miss has no shot,” and, “Georgia Tech 25, Notre Dame 24 –Paul Johnson seems like a nice man. Better than that, he didn’t just need a virtual Hail Mary from his backup quarterback to beat Virginia.”
Wow.
I went 6-7 last week, dragging my season record down to 25-12. Here are the week four picks.
Stanford 34, Oregon State 17 – Stanford. Go figure.
BYU 31, Michigan 24 – I think BYU is actually really good. They easily could have beaten UCLA on the road last week.
Texas 45, Oklahoma State 38 – The Longhorns are going to get the Steve Patterson Bounce win or miss game-tying extra points trying is basically the memo I got from the Cal game.
Tennessee 31, Florida 14 – Hey Florida, looks like Spurrier is going to be available!
TCU 51, Texas Tech 35 – Not even coaching against Bret Bielema and Gary Patterson in consecutive weeks can take the beautiful out of Kliff Kingsbury.
California 27, Washington 24 – I think the Boise State game actually froze Chris Peterson. I’m not sure he can move his jaw anymore.
Texas A&M 45, Arkansas 24 – I’m not completely sure what happened to Arkansas, but I’m almost certain it has something to do with Bielema wearing his headset on his forehead quietly enraging every single opposing coach in the country.
Mississippi State 34, Auburn 24 – Let’s call this season this Auburn season Dumpster Fire 2: The Revenge of Gene Chizik.
Missouri 17, Kentucky 14 – Mizzou won last weekend when UConn, down 9-6, ran the worst fake field goal play ever as time expired. But even that’s better than losing at home to the Gators.
Arizona 41, UCLA 27 – Rich Rod is the man. Go ‘Cats.
Oregon 42, Utah 31 – This games serves simply as a chance to remember and relive the golden moment of college football’s modern era.
Arizona State 45, USC 34 – But will Steve Sarkisian make it off the tarmac at LAX???
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