Around the NFL: 06/10/11

Around the NFL is a weekly feature on Foxboro Blog offering an irreverent (and sometimes humorous) look at some of the top news stories from the NFL. Read at your own risk!

• The biggest news this week was Plaxico Burress’s release from prison. Wearing a Philadelphia Phillies cap may have tipped his hand regarding where he’d like to play next season. I guess he couldn’t do much worse on the mound than Kyle Kendricks every fifth day.
• Speaking of players in trouble with the law, Kenny Britt was arrested this week for obstructing justice and resisting arrest after detectives detected an odor of marijuana coming from his rolled cigar. I’m going to eschew the easy “if I played for the Titans, I’d try to escape the pain with recreational drugs too” joke. This incident took place a day after he was in court due to a speeding charge. I think we can safely add him to the list of stars who should never be allowed to leave their homes unless they are headed to practice or games. But hey, at least he’s not Aqib Talib.
• The aforementioned Bucs CB was indicted this week for firing a gun at his sister’s boyfriend. There is an important lesson here for all young men – don’t date Aqib Talib’s sister.
• Ohio State Buckeyes QB Terrelle Pryor announced that he’d be taking his talents to the NFL for the 2011 season. He is now free to receive compensation for an autograph that nobody could possibly be interested in.
• Alex Smith expects to be the starting quarterback for the 49ers next season. I expect to become a relevant blogger and successful health and fitness coach next year. Never discount the power of positive thinking!
• NFL players and owners met for two days of talks sans lawyers, and Patriots owner Robert Kraft and many others have reported some progress. Taking the lawyers out of the equation is interesting. I wish they had thought of this sooner. How on earth will the lockout ever end if the parties that are negotiating the deal are the ones who stand to reap the greatest benefit from a prolonged work stoppage? I’m no lawyer, but put me in that situation, and I’d work my ass off to ensure no football is played until 2045, at which point I would retire and buy my own island. Is it too late for law school?
• The “NFL in LA” crew have held talks with five teams regarding a return to downtown Los Angeles. You think it’s tough to breathe the thin air in Denver? Try catching your breath in downtown L.A. You’d be better off chain smoking Kenny Britt’s cigars in the huddle. Still, I don’t think it’s likely a team will move there. It will be a tough sell to get a team to relocate to a city that is scheduled to fall into the ocean next winter. Trust me, I saw the video. If John Cusack says it, you can take it to the bank!