First of all, I’d like to dedicate this Guys on Ice to frequent reader Sleza, for agreeing with me on the look-alikes and for introducing me to this group. Also, I promise this is the last time I do a Disney-inspired Guys on Ice for a really, really, long time.
***Welcome to the Atlanta Thrashers Chat Room!***
AntroBot_80000: OH wow! I has tickets to see great Russian pop duo SMASH!!
Kovalchuk_Norris: I thought they broke up?
AntroBot_80000: NO, they get back together for Save Adorable Kitties Concert. You want to come with me, Ilya?
Kovalchuk_Norris: I…uh…I can’t. I’m…not a fan.
AntroBot_80000: How can you not be fans of SMASH!!?
Army_Navy: What’s a smash?
AntroBot_80000: Is great group Ilya does no like. Here is Youtubes I have:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eswQBzD7QVo&w=320&h=265]
Army_Navy: Wow…the dark haired guy kind of look like you, Ilya
Kovalchuk_Norris: Oh, haha, is just coincidence.
AntroBot_80000: You wants to go to concert, Colby?
Army_Navy: Whatever.
***Later, after the concert!***
Army_Navy: Wow, this isn’t too bad. Look at all these hot Russian chicks!
AntroBot_80000: And they had great dancing and such. And new songs!
Army_Navy: And I still can’t get over how much that dark-haired guy looks like Ilya. It’s kind of…eerie.
AntroBot_80000: Look! It’s his dressing room! Is he in there?
Kovalchuk_Norris: AH! Nik! Colby! What are you doing!
Army_Navy: We just saw a great show! Wait a second…why are you here? I thought you weren’t coming…
Kovalchuk_Norris: I need you both to keep secret of mine. When I am in Atlanta, I am simply Ilya Kovalchuk. But when I puts on this wig, I am Sergey Lazarev, Russian pop superstar.
AntroBot_80000: But Ilya, this wig is exactly the same as your own hair.
Kovalchuk_Norris: Someone is coming! Stall them while I put wig back on.
***Reporter_Person has entered the chat room!***
Reporter_Person: I represent English-language Russian news paper. Who are you two?
Army_Navy: MY name, is, uh…Studmuffin McGriddle. And this is my friend Oliver…Klothsov. We have been good friends of, uh, Sergey for years!
AntroBot_80000: We are posse!
Reporter_Person: This smells fishy for some reason…
Kovalchuk_Norris: Ah! A SMASH!! Fan! How nice!
Reporter_Person: Why did you reunite with your bandmate, Vlad Topalov?
Kovalchuk_Norris: I do it for the Adorable Kitties.
AntroBot_80000: We all likes adorable kitties.
Kovalchuk_Norris: Uh…No more questions. Is time for sleeps.
***Reporter_Person has left the chat room!***
Kovalchuk_Norris: Wow…that was close, you guys
Army_Navy: We’re your friends, Ilya—
AntroBot_80000: Sergey !
Army_Navy: –and we’d do it for you again in a heart beat.
Kovalchuk_Norris: But why you give fake names?
Army_Navy: Well….if we gave out real names, people could find out we’re hockey players and they would know your secret more easily.
***Vlad Topalov has entered the chat room!***
Vlad Topalov: Vat secret?
AntroBot_80000: Oh…he is afraid of the dark.
Vlad Topalov: I could have said that
***Vlad Topalov has left the chat room!***
AntroBot_80000:But how are you not dead of sleep deprivation and exhuastion?
Army_Navy:And how do you get around?
Kovalchuk_Norris: To be true, I am like Superman, but instead of saving people, I make pop music.
Army_Navy: And how are people so stupid they don’t know it’s you? Actually, don’t answer that.
Kovalchuk_Norris: I is so lucky to have best of both worlds.
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