Sometimes stories just write themselves, especially when written by somebody else. Fans always feel that bad things happen only to their team. Or, theirs is the leagues’s sole team to improve. Every other team is standing still. (The Cowboys, for example.)
Redskins fans can use some light-hearted laughter to erase the gloom. The Nats are in the playoffs, (Go Nats! by the way) but that’s baseball and the Nats have yet to make a deep Series run. Then, Hog Heaven had this “just writes itself” moment.
Guerry Smith wrote an Associated Press story about New Orleans today, Saints humbled, but not hopeless after 1-3 start.
HA! Everything Smith wrote about the Saints he could have said about the Redskins.
Here’s a little Hog Heaven game posted strictly for laughs. We take the first few paragraphs of the AP story, and insert a generic Redskins player for Junior Galette, the Saints player quoted for the story. Elsewhere we substitute Redskins for Saints and Jay Gruden for Sean Payton. Now re-read the story as we did and be stunned by the close fit.
“Defensive captain [NAME HERE] is disgusted by the [REDSKINS’] sluggish start.
“’You have to be realistic and know that we’re not as good as we thought we were,’ [TEAM CAPTAIN], said Monday. ‘We have three quarters (of the season) left, and we have to improve drastically.’
“With the [REDSKINS] (1-3) coming off a [45-14] loss [to the GIANTS] on [THURSDAY] night and at the bottom of the NFC [EAST], [TEAM CAPTAIN] doesn’t seem to be getting any arguments from teammates or coaches.
“Instead of naming one or two overriding concerns, coach [JAY GRUDEN] rattled off the offense, the defense, the special teams, preparation and coaching as areas that needed to get better before [MONDAY’S] home game against [SEATLE (2-1)].
“The [REDSKINS] appeared staggered and stunned by their lopsided loss [TO NEW YORK], particularly because of how much more competitive they looked in their first three games.
“’Nothing is encouraging right now,’ [TEAM CAPTAIN] said. ‘We’re not looking at other teams. We’re looking at ourselves, and how we played last night was discouraging. At the same time, you’ve got to be tough and be strong through these tough times because they never last.’
“Coming off an [3-13] season in 2013, the [REDSKINS] talked in the preseason about having the most talented roster in [GRUDEN’s]
nine-yeartenure. They pointed to the addition of three-time Pro Bowl [WIDE RECEIVER DESEAN JACKSON] and [2013 PRO BOWL DE JASON HATCHER].”
This is parody, not plagiarism. The base work is not mine. To see the real Saints story, click here.
The similarities end there. The Saints’ next game is against the Buccaneers. The Redskins face the Seahawks Monday night. ESPN tried so hard to promote the game they even said “Redskins.”
Still, the similarities makes you wonder. Do players, coaches and sportswriters follow the same script when teams fall to 1-3? Coachspeak especially is not bound to any particular team. Payton’s assessment of his Saints is almost verbatim what Gruden said after the fumble in the jungle last Thursday.
Here is what the headline got right. It isn’t hopeless for either team. It’s early. Schemes can be fixed. Players who are trying can still get better. Injured players can heal in 11 days. The Thursday-night-to-a-week-from-Monday mini-Bye is perfect timing.
The words the Redskins should be saying are not scripted. They should be the classic affirmations of sports psychology.
- That game was not me.
- I can do better. I will do better.
- Your attitude is your altitude.
- Could be worse. We could be the Raiders.
Hog Heaven does not expect the Redskins to win every game. Just win the next game.
The only thing players should dwell on is how to beat the Seahawks.
#Redskins refreshed, refocused as practice resumes after humiliating loss, writes @ZacBoyer: http://t.co/DO3HWkQjsk pic.twitter.com/b7U0RFcWld
— Washington Times Sports (@WashTimesSports) September 30, 2014
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