An Interview With A No-Name

A white out in September? Sounds fishy.

1. What do you feel are PSU strengths and weaknesses? Penn State’s strength’s are as obvious as the uncertainty at other positions. Offensively, the WR corps are a very talented and mature bunch. The Offensive line is an experienced bunch this year but most of them are new to their positions. I believe that A.Q. Shipley will have them working together well. Anthony Morelli remains an enigma; will the controlled, mistake-free QB from the Outback Bowl show up on game day? Or will it be the QB who tries to force passes that aren’t there? Austin Scott is certainly a talented RB but it remains to be seen if he can deliver on that potential over an entire season. Defensively, the back seven are among the best in the country. Justin King a shut-down corner with 4.2/40 speed is not only the best corner on the team but also the best DB in the Big Ten. Anthony Scirrotto is an All-Big Ten Safety who is a real ball-hawk. The LBs are the best in the country. Dan Connor will be an All-American this year and will break Posluszny’s record for most tackles at PSU. Sean Lee might be even better than Dan! The real question on Defense is a defensive line which has been decimated by injuries. Devon Still, a true frosh who looked to make an impact this year, is out for the season with a knee injury. Abe Koroma, who was going to start, broke his foot and won’t be back until sometime after week 4. There is still talent on the line but it will be thin and any injuries could really expose a lack of depth. The D-line is also relatively inexperienced and if they can’t tie up lineman so the LBs can make plays it could be a big problem.
2. The Irish’s strength and weaknesses? I am by no means an Irish expert so I’m sure I’m only pointing out the very obvious. Offensively, question marks abound. Will Clausen be up to the task? Will the offensive line give the young QB enough time to throw? Will the running game be effective? Defensively, the problem seems to be the secondary. With an offense that is still learning the Irish will have to keep scores under 20 pts. in order to win.
3. How does JoePa walk around in the daylight as a member of the undead? Well, first of all, I don’t think the un-dead have any problems walking around in the daylight. I think you are referring to vampires. That being said, Joe can do it because he is fucking Joe Paterno. He doesn’t watch TV (obviously) he does football.
4. Do white outs actually work or is it just an excuse for being colorblind? The White-Out works. They are calling for a stadium wide white-out but i just don’t think it will happen. The students will be completely sans color but there will be several blue-hairs who don’t get the message. However, when the sun has set, zombie nation is playing, and the students are basically moshing in the stands you will then observe the excellence of the white-out.
5. Have you tasted the delicious treat that is the deep fried White Castle…if so, thoughts? I haven’t. However it looks phenomenal. Chris, if your reading this I have got to try one at the Tosu game so deep fry one of those bad boys for me!
6. How is the Big Integer race going to shape up? The Big Integer race? I’m afraid i have no idea what you’re talking about.
7. Does Dan Conner prefer the clear or the cream? PSU does things the right way. Dan is huge and fast but he has always been huge and fast. If anything we need to try to bottle his DNA and make little blue & white clones for the future.
8. Are you attending the game? I will not be attending the game. Sadly, I live 2,000 miles from State College. There is also the pesky matter of finding $1,100 for a ticket. That I do not have. I will be wearing white and be going out of my mind in my living room.
9. Predictions for Saturday? I put up a previous prediction of:PSU: 38ND: 20I’m not going to back off of that prediction now. I think the game will be eerily similar to last years game but in a mirror image. Thanks for the invite. Good questions. I can’t wait for the game!

Thank-You J.B. I can’t wait for you to lose either!