Noetic Science And The Reason Notre Dame Loses Football Games

dollar billI know why Notre Dame has been losing. I know why the worst almost always seems to happen for the Fighting Irish. I know why it looks like the football program looks like it is fucked for another 15+ years. I know the reason why.

It’s your fault. All of you.

I better rewind this a bit…

During the bye week, I took some time off for myself. I trolled around the interwebs a little bit (no way was I leaving my Twitter account lay dormant) but instead of researching stories, and posting more bullshit, I got a chance to do some reading that I have been putting to the side.

One of those books, was the Dan Brown novel, The Lost Symbol. Although I think Brown gets too much credit for the Da Vinci Code “discoveries” while works on the subject, such as Holy Blood, Holy Grail and The Templar Revelation, and a long list of others seemingly get no credit for the research and publishing of their works- I find Brown’s novels and writing style fascinating.

In The Lost Symbol, one of the main characters is researching a wide variety of subjects within the realm of Noetic Science. Basically, Noetic Science is the study of the potential of the human mind. Meaning: this science theorizes that our thoughts can change matter, move it.

In a way, this is nothing new. Ty Webb (Caddyshack), showed us how to be the ball, Vigo the Carpathian (Ghostbusters II) showed us that our emotions can influence and change the people and objects arund us, Yoda (Star Wars1-6) taught us that we can either do, or do not, and that there is no try, while Bobby Boucher (Waterboy) showed us how to visualize and attack.

It’s a mind game. It’s power.

Obviously, Irish fans have been slacking in their influence over the outcome of games for well over a decade. What the hell is wrong with all of you? A lack of faith? What if i told you that Noetic science could basically prove that prayer works? Is that something you might be interested in?

I thought so.

Here’s what you do… will the goodness. If Rees throws a pass, will that ball into the hands of our receiver. If we run the ball, will him through those attempted tackles. This is important for not only the spectators in the stadium, but for those watching at home too. In fact, while I have been writing this post, I have been mind-bombing Utah head coach, Kyle Wittingham, and his attempts at creating new blitz schemes to use against Notre Dame.

Not on my watch motherfuckers, and it shouldn’t be on yours either.

Focus (Karate Kid). Project (Harry Potter). Drop Mind-Bombs (Inception).

Quit dragging your asses and help ,will, this team to victory. You know you can. It could be our final hope.

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